I make booty calls sound like sonnets

I came across this spoken word performance entitled "7 reasons not to date a poet". I thought it was pretty damn hilarious, being a poet myself. Don't judge me, but enjoy (:

DAMMIT! THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR NOT BLOGGING IN SO LONG

An hour later, i have the urge to blog again. I feel safer blogging what i'm feeling instead of telling someone, and this blog will explain exactly why.


So... I've had maybe 6 best friends from high school to the present. Some people prefer not to designate one best friend or whatever, spare me your preference and hear me out. Every best friend I've had has left me. Whether it be because of indifference, relationships, or straying away (i don't know how you stray away from a bestfriend), they've all left me in one way or another. I hope this doesn't sound presumptuous, but i don't think its been me thats strayed away. My friends are family to me, and i do everything i can to be good to them..

Now as of late, I've been extremely reluctant to call anyone my best friend. A concept I've tried to keep in mind is that not everyone has the same notions of friendship and life as I do, but sometimes its hard. You're in a mutual relationship in which one would expect equal reciprocation of effort and personal investment right? Well I've learned that to be wrong. And if that sounds weird to you, well, that was my understanding of what a friendship was.


And I think now, i'm hesitant to talk to people about my problems... Because i'm afraid to make personal investments in them, knowing that i'm very susceptible to being walked away from.. I'm hesitant to call anyone my bestfriend for that same reason. Regardless, I still care about certain friends more than others (fact of life, sorry.) and because of that when i see signs of them possibly straying away i get scared. Blame my low self esteem/self concept, blame my inferiority complex, whatever it is, it happens. So a look into my life, this is how I am. Love me or leave me. But if you choose to love me, please love me in full.


I used to think my parents didn't understand me. I am the black sheep of my family. I'm just different. But as I grow older, i'm slowly learning that they know me better than I think. Sometimes I'll bawl my heart out, laying in bed in my room. And my mom will just sit there with me, and she'll keep asking me to talk to her. And i won't. She'll ask me twenty times, and finally i'll be ready to talk, and she'll be there to listen.. And for that, I am eternally thankful..


I hide my feelings because of fear, but I really do want someone to listen.. I just need a different kind of care, I suppose.

How I've missed your embrace..

Oh blog, why do I always forget about you :/ I promise I love you, life just gets crazy sometimes.

Despite a fear of sounding uninterestingly familiar, I am coming back to my blog. This is where I talk about my emotions and daily interesting happenings, but I feel like they've all become the same. Recycled memories, same shit in a new stall. Then again, maybe thats why y'all love me? :]


So.. In the past 2 and a half months, I have.. Started a second job with the city of diamond bar, dated a girl, un-dated by a girl, gotten my geek on and watched a lot of anime, seen my brother who lives in Japan, started a new year, had Wii Fit tell me I'm obese, and celebrated numerous birthdays.

I'll try and update more. I want to be more helpful. I want to share experiences and insight, I'm a creative soul longing to leave my mark in this world before I die.



So at work (sushi restaurant) I have this asian lady come in with two daughters. One must have been 4 or 5, and the other 2 or 3. She looked like a single mom, although i'm not sure, and she had a speech impediment. I'm not sure, but she sounded like she might have been partially deaf or something. Anyway, I couldn't understand her well despite trying my hardest, and when she asked for a spoon and I didn't understand, her daughter told me "she wants a spoon." As she went on with her dinner, I saw her trying to feed her younger daughter while being attentive to the older one, and I could see the frustration in her face.

And I wondered.. what must it be like, to struggle to care for two daughters as a single parent. I'm sure she's greatful for the two beautiful girls she has, but i wondered if she resented them sometimes. And what would it feel like to have conflicting emotions like that. And I wondered if I would be a good dad. Or what if I had to raise my kids on my own? Would I be any good?

Although these questions are highly premature seeing as though I can't even seem to hold down a girlfriend, let alone a wife to have children with.


I think this is long enough :P

Goodnight blogworld.

Too Late to Apologize?

I hope not. Although this comes almost a month after my previous post, I apologize for my rashness and offensiveness of what I said. I know religion is important to many, and that everyone is allowed to have their own beliefs. But a majority of California voted to deny someone civil rights on Nov4 and it just killed me.


Ok, so the other day I was at this benefit art show/open mic for the Filipino Club @ my school (PASA) and homeboy brings his coworker to the show after they get off. So coworker (i forget her name) is hispanic or of some Chicana decent, and she comments "There's so many Filipinos here."

And I say to her, I'm not Filipino. And her response. The international symbol for a Chinaman. The Ching Chong eye slant. And perplexed, I say "whats that supposed to mean?" to which she replies "You all look the same."


You All Look The Same. Just like that. All of a sudden my identity is homogenous to millions of other asians. Ignant people just get me sometimes.

If God is so Great

Why does He discriminate against the LGBT community?

I have my issues with Christianity and Catholicism. The thing about it though, is you can't argue with devout Christians and Catholics against them because they're reasoning for everything is "because God yadda yadda". It's like arguing with someone who always says "Why?" You don't get anywhere.

Granted I have some great friends who are open minded, but for the most part, it would seem that people are inexcusably stubborn when it comes to religion. And its FRUSTRATING.

However, its times like these that I am grateful to be Buddhist. I have explanations for my beliefs, other than that it is the will of an almighty someone. Let the argumentation begin.

ayyye.

and thus cycles in another unruly period of malinspiration (yes i made that word up) and mundane same olds. And just as i say that, I think I really have just been too busy trying to keep busy.

Then, i guess that makes me successful in my intent, but do I really succeed? I think this LA/SoCal lifestyle makes us think we gotta do somethin'. We gotta get out and breathe as if it were to be our last.

But oh, how pleasant a day at home is. With a book or the fam, some lovely scenario and nice weather.


So I was talking about my life in general with a homegirl a couple weeks back, and she said one of the most insightful things I have heard in a while. Upon telling her what has seemed like to be social unrest and and a failing love life, she said "maybe.. you're just in the wrong place...."

Which left me confused. Girl I was born in raised in LA county, wuchu reefin' on? And she suggested that maybe I was meant to be somewhere else. Which left me conflicted. Cause I've always felt like I had somewhere else to conquer. Sometimes I felt like I didn't belong, like my heart was elsewhere.

But, I have such good friends. I love the people I'm around, and my family is here. So now I'm at this conundrum, thinking if I should be applying to jobs out-of-state and I really just don't know..

I would hate to think that my potential is sitting on the couch watchin' Family Guy all day, and it won't go get up and play with the other kids in the neighborhood cause I don't push him to...



On a lighter note. I went to a halloween party last night with some Peter, Darren, Dru, and Jaime. And I have this dope costume which i will refrain from revealing until i get pictures. But it involves painting one eye black. So I'm straight up usin' acrylic paint to paint around my eye, and my sister says "Hold on, i'll get some mascara for you."

So she goes to get the mascara and puts it down and runs off again. So what do I do? I start to put it on my eyelashes hahahahhahaha! And then she comes back and busts up and tells me i was supposed to rub it under my eye to complete the black or whatever.

How was I supposed to know what she was thinking? I know what mascara is for, she told me to use it; A+B=C holmes! But that was pretty funny.. :P

This is Ron Burgandy signing off; go fuck yourself San Diego.

A sad day in history..

Mother's Cookies, known for the infamous frosting and sprinkle coated circus animal cookies, has filed for bankruptcy ):

http://www. sfgate. com/cgi-bin/article. cgi?f=/c/a/2008/10/09/BU6413DQQO. DTL


Definately a sad day in history. First polaroid film, now circus animals.. what next? pogs?! please don't take away pogs!


What? they're already gone?