Can I be frank?

No. But I can be hideki (:



dut dut, cchshhhhhhh!



AAAnyway. Something I've thought about recently. I have such a HUGE passion in contemporary Asian American issues. But I feel like if I share them, people think I'm a geek. Or a White hater.

Not to say that I don't have my personal steak with White people. But it's not unjustified, and I don't hate every white person I see.


But yeah. I feel geeky.

But she would never know.

This blog won't make sense to most, so i guess its more for me. But I feel like I need to write it publicly; maybe someone will relate to my emotion.


This is a crazy story about adolescent love. I don't call it puppy love; I think thats degrading. It insinuates that the emotion is premature and not valid.


I was a sophomore in high school. We met in the lamest way possible: Myspace. She was attractive, and being the weird kid I was, I felt compelled to tell her so. Oddly enough, she replied with a humble "thank you". Through further conversation I found out that that her cousin and I went to the same high school, although she was from New York..

A few commonalities later and we soon began engaging in literally 8hr long conversations; we clicked. I didn't mind staying in all day, forming multiple inside jokes, discussing music, video games, and life.

And an attraction was born. An attraction based off personality, humor, wit, and intellect. And of course, myspace pictures. But can you imagine? An attraction to someone you've never met? And what does that say about the quality of the attraction? To know its really based off the quality of someone's mind and that chemistry with them.

Chemistry or not, 4000mi is a long ways away. We were both falling, and she said that she couldn't do a long distance relationship. And thus dissapated my first teenage love affair.




6yrs later. I'm presented with the opportunity of a summer internship in upstate NY. 4hrs from NYC, but New York nontheless. The longest I'd ever be away on my own. Physically separated from family and friends, interning for an institution known for its racial segregation, and the possiblity of meeting her.

I have spent the past 5 days in NYC, and they were AMAZING. I toured half of Manhattan on my own, and half with friends, saw original Marc Chagall and Henri Rousseau paintings, the Salvador Dali exhibit, did uncanny shopping. And I met her.

After 6 long years, I finally met her. And it was splendid. I had a wonderful time, it was like we were good friends just catching up for lunch. Words can't describe how great it felt.

I'd say 50% of the reason I took this internship was for the opportunity to meet her. And this internship has been less than desireable. My experience here is one I will always remember, but not necessarily because I had such an amazing time here.

Of all my complaints to friends, all the nothing I've done, the time i've spent missing home. It was all worth it because I met her.







But she would never know.

GADZ!

So my train into the city delyaed for 40 mins. Another 15 mins at the next stop, 30 mins 2 stops away from mine. Net delay was like an hour.

I grab a cab to my hostel. And by the way, the cabs here are pretty much as crazy as the movies make it seem. And I get to my hostel, only to find out the system has been down for an hour and they dont know when it'll be back up.

So it's 1:30am and I'm sitting in the basement game lounge next to a smelly german guy who makes me want to watch Beerfest then dropkick him in the kneecap, and there are two french girls playing ping pong in front of me.

I'm starving but I can't even go to the diner up the block cause i have my luggage with me and they dont check luggage.

What a welcome to NYC -__-

The Thin Line

Between hopeful and foolish. Such a frustrating border. I always told myself and was thoroughly convinced that I was a hopeful on the border of being foolish. Now I'm pretty sure I'm foolish on the border of hopeful.

So what does this mean?

It means you can leave me hanging quite often, but the moment it seems like you care about my being, I'm right back to gaga at the hopes of sweeping you off your feet.

It means you could tell me to buy something to remind you of me, and I'll spend $10 on a 4" teddy bear with the notion that it will open up talkin' points.

Those are just a couple examples... It's such a fine line, and I'm sure people can relate. And I'm semi infamous for pursuing every girl that knows I'm alive, but I've gotten a lot better about that.

The thing is though, girls love tests. They want to be desired. They want you to work hard for them. So whats the difference between being persistent and being hopeless?


And I know there are no definate responses to these questions. But they are definately dilemmas to think about.


OR maybe none of this matters, and I just think too much.

I had something important to blog about

And i forgot it -___- Got caught up watching the season finale of Real World.


Via a vent session with Stay Fun Knee, I got into talking about friendships.


Friendships are fascinating. My biggest observation over the years has been that a solid chunk of these friendships, relationships, and all those other ships, are based on convenience.

And I'm continually astonished by the ease in which kinship can be so easily forgotten. How can a bond of memories, experiences, and similarities be thrown out with the junk mail in an instant?


Here's the thing. So everyone has different interpretations of "friendship." And not everybody's conceptions are the same, but we always tend to hold our own beliefs as the norm(such an American ego-centric concept) and end up confused when others don't reflect our views.


If you're my good friend, and we hang out or talk at least once a week, and things just stop for no reason, I see that as a failure. I feel like I have failed to uphold my friendship duties and my hands are tired of holding on to something I just can't grasp anymore.

And I've confronted some previously close friends about the deconstruction of such a great friendship, and the response that i find oddly peculiar, is that:

"things just got busy with our lives. but just because we dont talk as often doesn't mean we aren't good friends."

I don't know. I kinda feel it is. I mean, our friendship will always have those special moments, but you mean to tell me that good friendships can be maintained with a casual quarter yearly check up? That doesn't sit right with me.


So what does this mean? Do I need to change my notions of friendship to resonate with the majority? Or do I continue to follow my antic perceptions and expectations? What's the balance between the two?


Stuff to sleep on, I suppose.

Montreal!

First off, some recent acquisitions from my trip :D













If you know me, you know my weakness for Retro Reebok Pumps. With this cop, I'm officially at pair #3











Pseudo Kanye West-esque blinder sunglasses. Veronica was the first person with 'em, I was feelin' the steeze.









Whaaaaaaaaat?! Calculator Watch/TV Remote! BALLINNNNNN' KIDDDDDDD!











And now to talk about the town. LOVELY! A lot of the architecture is very French inspired. 2-3 story restaurants, patio dining is a must, and you can smell pizza and crepes from the streets. The food was good, but definately overpriced. Restaurant burgers were like 11-15$. But my beer was humongous!









They give you mugs according to what kinda beer you order.. And I thought I had a matching problem...



The city in general was filled with relatively attractive people. More so than here in Syracuse. There were also ASIAN PEOPLE! A concept almost foreign to me at this point.



Yo, on the [not so] down low, Asian girls with French accents? HOT!







So first night, went out to a couple bar/clubs. First was XOtica. Electro with a slight mix of 80s rock and an occasional Michael Jackson track mixed in. The crowd wasn't that good, but the promoter guy outside told us they had 3$ drinks so we went in. BEAUTIFUL bartender, who was also a very pleasant gal. Had a few drinks, then headed off to another joint called Ultra Light Club





Supposedly this was where the Asian people partied at. Seeing as how my roommate and I hadn't seen Asian people in a while, we thought it would be nice to party with some. There were a few asian people in the joint, and a couple cute asian bartenders.





So my roommate and I decide to approach a couple girls, and before I get a word out to them, a third girl comes up and puts her hand out in my face and says "No." Ultimate Cock Block. She was a UBC. It was like that one episode of Chapelle Show where he does the Player Hater's Ball.



They weren't even that fly, I was just trying to have a conversation ya know? So my roommate and I just had a few more drinks, talked to the bartender a little. She told us the spot to be at for Asian people was a joint called Tonic.




::SIDE NOTE:: Really funny. And kinda flatering, I think? But there were people promoting safe sex by handing out free Trojan condoms. So this chick comes up to me and gives me the condom. And I say "thanks" naturally. And then she looks at me, and gives me another and says "you never know" and smiles and walks away. HAHAHAH.








For those who've read this far, thanks (: Got one more night to cover.



So saturday night, starts out the same. Min was skeptical about Tonic, so after XOtica, we head to Ultra Light again. Same horrible crowd, so we go to the bar to get some drinks, and the same bartender looks at us and says "what are you doing here?" hahahah. So we hang out for a little bit, Min tried to open up with some white girls, which failed miserably. So then we decide to go to Tonic.




CHA-CHING! Great club, nice people, cute girls. Met and talked to a few nice people, found a group of 3 girls to dance with. I wasn't even tryin' to get close on 'em, and I just started backin' the ghetto booty up a little, and they were like "woah." hahahha. and i was like "woah! what just happened." They just couldn't handle the Hideki Booty. Then again, not many can (:



But overall, a great night in comparison to the first (:





Annnd, that is the jist of my weekend. I'll update with a few more pictures from the trip tomorrow..



Comments! :D

So I was washing the dishes...

And on one of the plates, it had these yellow streaks on it. And I couldn't tell if it was egg yolk or mustard, but I was just so damn curious as to what it was, so I am about to smell it.

Then I think. Either way, i'll probably gag. And it's not that important. So I refrain from smelling it and just clean it. Just found that kinda funny.


I'll have a couple pictures in the next update, I'm too lazy to grab my camera right now. But the other day, I saw the most beautiful sky here; it looked like the sky was CGI or painted on or something. You'll see when I post..


No mid-week cheat meal. I'm going to Montreal, Canada this weekend. So it'll be kind of a cheat weekend. Lookin' to get some GREAT pictures form there. And just have a great weekend, it's been a while.


Hey poll. Should I wax my chest hair?