I hope not. Although this comes almost a month after my previous post, I apologize for my rashness and offensiveness of what I said. I know religion is important to many, and that everyone is allowed to have their own beliefs. But a majority of California voted to deny someone civil rights on Nov4 and it just killed me.
Ok, so the other day I was at this benefit art show/open mic for the Filipino Club @ my school (PASA) and homeboy brings his coworker to the show after they get off. So coworker (i forget her name) is hispanic or of some Chicana decent, and she comments "There's so many Filipinos here."
And I say to her, I'm not Filipino. And her response. The international symbol for a Chinaman. The Ching Chong eye slant. And perplexed, I say "whats that supposed to mean?" to which she replies "You all look the same."
You All Look The Same. Just like that. All of a sudden my identity is homogenous to millions of other asians. Ignant people just get me sometimes.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
If God is so Great
Why does He discriminate against the LGBT community?
I have my issues with Christianity and Catholicism. The thing about it though, is you can't argue with devout Christians and Catholics against them because they're reasoning for everything is "because God yadda yadda". It's like arguing with someone who always says "Why?" You don't get anywhere.
Granted I have some great friends who are open minded, but for the most part, it would seem that people are inexcusably stubborn when it comes to religion. And its FRUSTRATING.
However, its times like these that I am grateful to be Buddhist. I have explanations for my beliefs, other than that it is the will of an almighty someone. Let the argumentation begin.
I have my issues with Christianity and Catholicism. The thing about it though, is you can't argue with devout Christians and Catholics against them because they're reasoning for everything is "because God yadda yadda". It's like arguing with someone who always says "Why?" You don't get anywhere.
Granted I have some great friends who are open minded, but for the most part, it would seem that people are inexcusably stubborn when it comes to religion. And its FRUSTRATING.
However, its times like these that I am grateful to be Buddhist. I have explanations for my beliefs, other than that it is the will of an almighty someone. Let the argumentation begin.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
ayyye.
and thus cycles in another unruly period of malinspiration (yes i made that word up) and mundane same olds. And just as i say that, I think I really have just been too busy trying to keep busy.
Then, i guess that makes me successful in my intent, but do I really succeed? I think this LA/SoCal lifestyle makes us think we gotta do somethin'. We gotta get out and breathe as if it were to be our last.
But oh, how pleasant a day at home is. With a book or the fam, some lovely scenario and nice weather.
So I was talking about my life in general with a homegirl a couple weeks back, and she said one of the most insightful things I have heard in a while. Upon telling her what has seemed like to be social unrest and and a failing love life, she said "maybe.. you're just in the wrong place...."
Which left me confused. Girl I was born in raised in LA county, wuchu reefin' on? And she suggested that maybe I was meant to be somewhere else. Which left me conflicted. Cause I've always felt like I had somewhere else to conquer. Sometimes I felt like I didn't belong, like my heart was elsewhere.
But, I have such good friends. I love the people I'm around, and my family is here. So now I'm at this conundrum, thinking if I should be applying to jobs out-of-state and I really just don't know..
I would hate to think that my potential is sitting on the couch watchin' Family Guy all day, and it won't go get up and play with the other kids in the neighborhood cause I don't push him to...
On a lighter note. I went to a halloween party last night with some Peter, Darren, Dru, and Jaime. And I have this dope costume which i will refrain from revealing until i get pictures. But it involves painting one eye black. So I'm straight up usin' acrylic paint to paint around my eye, and my sister says "Hold on, i'll get some mascara for you."
So she goes to get the mascara and puts it down and runs off again. So what do I do? I start to put it on my eyelashes hahahahhahaha! And then she comes back and busts up and tells me i was supposed to rub it under my eye to complete the black or whatever.
How was I supposed to know what she was thinking? I know what mascara is for, she told me to use it; A+B=C holmes! But that was pretty funny.. :P
This is Ron Burgandy signing off; go fuck yourself San Diego.
Then, i guess that makes me successful in my intent, but do I really succeed? I think this LA/SoCal lifestyle makes us think we gotta do somethin'. We gotta get out and breathe as if it were to be our last.
But oh, how pleasant a day at home is. With a book or the fam, some lovely scenario and nice weather.
So I was talking about my life in general with a homegirl a couple weeks back, and she said one of the most insightful things I have heard in a while. Upon telling her what has seemed like to be social unrest and and a failing love life, she said "maybe.. you're just in the wrong place...."
Which left me confused. Girl I was born in raised in LA county, wuchu reefin' on? And she suggested that maybe I was meant to be somewhere else. Which left me conflicted. Cause I've always felt like I had somewhere else to conquer. Sometimes I felt like I didn't belong, like my heart was elsewhere.
But, I have such good friends. I love the people I'm around, and my family is here. So now I'm at this conundrum, thinking if I should be applying to jobs out-of-state and I really just don't know..
I would hate to think that my potential is sitting on the couch watchin' Family Guy all day, and it won't go get up and play with the other kids in the neighborhood cause I don't push him to...
On a lighter note. I went to a halloween party last night with some Peter, Darren, Dru, and Jaime. And I have this dope costume which i will refrain from revealing until i get pictures. But it involves painting one eye black. So I'm straight up usin' acrylic paint to paint around my eye, and my sister says "Hold on, i'll get some mascara for you."
So she goes to get the mascara and puts it down and runs off again. So what do I do? I start to put it on my eyelashes hahahahhahaha! And then she comes back and busts up and tells me i was supposed to rub it under my eye to complete the black or whatever.
How was I supposed to know what she was thinking? I know what mascara is for, she told me to use it; A+B=C holmes! But that was pretty funny.. :P
This is Ron Burgandy signing off; go fuck yourself San Diego.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
A sad day in history..
Mother's Cookies, known for the infamous frosting and sprinkle coated circus animal cookies, has filed for bankruptcy ):
http://www. sfgate. com/cgi-bin/article. cgi?f=/c/a/2008/10/09/BU6413DQQO. DTL
Definately a sad day in history. First polaroid film, now circus animals.. what next? pogs?! please don't take away pogs!
What? they're already gone?
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
warm (not so) summer nights
First, listen to Jill Scott - Spring Summer Feeling. Then come back and read my blog. Or do it concurrently.
"Feelin' the way I do,
Its hard to keep focus.
One minute, staring at the moon
Next into your eyes.
Its no surprise, mmm, that my knees weaken
At the lovely words ya speakin'."
These warm summer nights remind me of a better time. A time when I didn't feel like everyday was a constant trial to see if I was committed to living life to the fullest. Nights like these remind me of... big chillin' with friends in front of the house till 4am. And nights spent out in the hills overlooking the city with a cup of Earl Grey and someone to share a conversation with. Jungle gyms at parks after hours.
I'm feeling better little by little. Babysteps each day. I still have yet to discover what this seemingly rehab-esque recovery is from. I think one of the most frustrating feelings is not knowing what ails you. It's right above sore triceps and not being ble to sneeze...
I think life in general is harder nowadays. There are so many social determining factors that comprise the standards that we attribute to a good quality of life. And with inflations and econonmic declines as of late, I fear the peril that will pursue the attainment of my college degree. Upon some real examination of our lives, I think you might realize we're sheltered. The belief is you go to college, attain a degree, and you enter the job market. But with how our economy is, there are definately no guarantees.
My Pops manages a warehouse in Ontario. He had to lay off more people this past month than in all 8 years he's been working there. Makes one think and partially fear who's next..
"Feelin' the way I do,
Its hard to keep focus.
One minute, staring at the moon
Next into your eyes.
Its no surprise, mmm, that my knees weaken
At the lovely words ya speakin'."
These warm summer nights remind me of a better time. A time when I didn't feel like everyday was a constant trial to see if I was committed to living life to the fullest. Nights like these remind me of... big chillin' with friends in front of the house till 4am. And nights spent out in the hills overlooking the city with a cup of Earl Grey and someone to share a conversation with. Jungle gyms at parks after hours.
I'm feeling better little by little. Babysteps each day. I still have yet to discover what this seemingly rehab-esque recovery is from. I think one of the most frustrating feelings is not knowing what ails you. It's right above sore triceps and not being ble to sneeze...
I think life in general is harder nowadays. There are so many social determining factors that comprise the standards that we attribute to a good quality of life. And with inflations and econonmic declines as of late, I fear the peril that will pursue the attainment of my college degree. Upon some real examination of our lives, I think you might realize we're sheltered. The belief is you go to college, attain a degree, and you enter the job market. But with how our economy is, there are definately no guarantees.
My Pops manages a warehouse in Ontario. He had to lay off more people this past month than in all 8 years he's been working there. Makes one think and partially fear who's next..
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Reminder
Something I take for granted is the splendid view I have from my backyard. Today's sunset is beautiful. The warm amber sky is a reminder to me... A reminder that I'm still alive. I've been so numb lately, and then being in the presence of something so simply beatiful has reminded me... That I'm still alive.
But it's more then just literally alive. So many people are caught up on working horrible jobs that pay money, or rushing to get out of school into the "real world" where they work hard for little remuneration. All the while, they've sped past the best years of their lives only to find theres no turning back? Are you really living, if you're not living life to the fullest?
But it's more then just literally alive. So many people are caught up on working horrible jobs that pay money, or rushing to get out of school into the "real world" where they work hard for little remuneration. All the while, they've sped past the best years of their lives only to find theres no turning back? Are you really living, if you're not living life to the fullest?
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
An interesting quote I read..
"Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."
-St. Agustine
In class. Probably go into this later..
edit
I feel numb as of late. Hours and days drone on as if I'm waiting for something special to happen. I feel like I'm dissonant from myself, like my soul is standing behind me while my body acts in a lethargic state.
Uncertainty has been creeping up on me. My plan was always undergrad, grad, work. Now that I've put grad school on hold, I don't know where I should work, or even if I'll get work for that matter. I'm so indecisive about life...
I could be a great chef or journalist or food critic. I think I could have been great at art and photography too. I could be a great businessman. And I think I have an equal opportunity at succeeding at all. Did I pick the right profession?
The only thing I'm decisive about is the fact that I'm indecisive. Or am I.
-St. Agustine
In class. Probably go into this later..
edit
I feel numb as of late. Hours and days drone on as if I'm waiting for something special to happen. I feel like I'm dissonant from myself, like my soul is standing behind me while my body acts in a lethargic state.
Uncertainty has been creeping up on me. My plan was always undergrad, grad, work. Now that I've put grad school on hold, I don't know where I should work, or even if I'll get work for that matter. I'm so indecisive about life...
I could be a great chef or journalist or food critic. I think I could have been great at art and photography too. I could be a great businessman. And I think I have an equal opportunity at succeeding at all. Did I pick the right profession?
The only thing I'm decisive about is the fact that I'm indecisive. Or am I.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Hm.
Thats pretty much all i can say to this.. "Hm." I dont even feel like analyzing it, along with my life. For once, I'm really just taking something at face value and enjoying it for what it is. WEIRD.
Like seriously? Was this person watching over my life?
I've gone through the first two loves.. Now I guess I have to wait on my 3rd.
Like seriously? Was this person watching over my life?
I've gone through the first two loves.. Now I guess I have to wait on my 3rd.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
You know what I miss?
How in high school, you could have those conversations till like 2 or 3 in the AM. And it was so exciting. Emotions fluttering in your stomach. Laying in bed listening to TLC or NSYNC while talkin' to that girl. And you woke up tired as fuck the next day, but it was cool cause you enjoyed the night.
Now you stay up late doing homework (not me though), or worrying about life. No one has the leisure of talking till the wee hours of the morning cause we have work or class. Life becomes hard out of nowhere, and we're submerged into adulthood without floaties. Sink or swim. Sink or swim. Sink or swim.....
I was thinking about the ideal age. I think its 6. Cause girls had cooties, you played kickball during recess with the boys, the girls did twirlsies on those bars, and at the end of the day the only thing you worried about was what toy was coming with your happy meal, and what video game you wanted to play for your hour of free time.
Now girls don't have cooties, they have our hearts, we're too mature for recess, and at the end of the day we worry about how we're going to get through the rest of the week, and whether or not we'll get an hour of free time at all.
(insert artsy picture here)
All my shit is on my laptop, which is currently out of commission.. Hopefully not indefinately :/
Comments are nice though (: eh? ehhh?
Now you stay up late doing homework (not me though), or worrying about life. No one has the leisure of talking till the wee hours of the morning cause we have work or class. Life becomes hard out of nowhere, and we're submerged into adulthood without floaties. Sink or swim. Sink or swim. Sink or swim.....
I was thinking about the ideal age. I think its 6. Cause girls had cooties, you played kickball during recess with the boys, the girls did twirlsies on those bars, and at the end of the day the only thing you worried about was what toy was coming with your happy meal, and what video game you wanted to play for your hour of free time.
Now girls don't have cooties, they have our hearts, we're too mature for recess, and at the end of the day we worry about how we're going to get through the rest of the week, and whether or not we'll get an hour of free time at all.
(insert artsy picture here)
All my shit is on my laptop, which is currently out of commission.. Hopefully not indefinately :/
Comments are nice though (: eh? ehhh?
Good Help
Is hard to come across -__-
rebel S0ULJAH (2:24:52 AM): what should i blog about.
KeithSAMS0N (2:24:58 AM): potatoes
rebel S0ULJAH (2:25:02 AM): ...
KeithSAMS0N (2:25:09 AM): I dunno, first thing that popped in my head
KeithSAMS0N (2:25:54 AM): which is pretty random because there's nothing around me that would make me think of potatoes
rebel S0ULJAH (2:26:07 AM): im blogging about you.
KeithSAMS0N (2:26:43 AM): really?
KeithSAMS0N (2:26:46 AM): that's a gay subject
rebel S0ULJAH (2:26:53 AM): literally
KeithSAMS0N (2:24:58 AM): potatoes
rebel S0ULJAH (2:25:02 AM): ...
KeithSAMS0N (2:25:09 AM): I dunno, first thing that popped in my head
KeithSAMS0N (2:25:54 AM): which is pretty random because there's nothing around me that would make me think of potatoes
rebel S0ULJAH (2:26:07 AM): im blogging about you.
KeithSAMS0N (2:26:43 AM): really?
KeithSAMS0N (2:26:46 AM): that's a gay subject
rebel S0ULJAH (2:26:53 AM): literally
What a night of random.
rachelmasocol (2:29:40 AM): you are a natural intellectual (about relationships)
eh?
So, like an idiot. I failed to zip up my laptop pocket on my backpack and upon putting it on, i managed to throw the laptop out the backpack. And now Maxine won't boot ): I've never backed her up, so if I lose all my shit... OMG :/
What idiot drops an effing laptop? Honestly!
I know I'm the type to always have a smile on my face, but I think I'm allowed to be down sometimes too. Pleaaaase don't tell me to stop being sad. Just be there. When I've processed everything and I'm ready to stop being sad, I will. Thanks (:
Critical life decisions to make... Ohh the pressure.
Monday, September 15, 2008
From the very first time
I placed my eyes on you girl
My heart said "follow through"
But I know now that
I'm Way down your line
But the waiting here is fine.
So don't treat me like
A puppet on a string
Cause I know how to do my thing
Don't talk to me as
If you think I'm dumb
I wanna know
When you're gonna come
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love..
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Cold Sheets
Lately.. My bed feels so empty. Granted I'm the only person that sleeps in it. But, I dunno.. I just feel like I miss having someone in my arms. Even though its been a while since I've had someone in my arms hahah. I dont know how to explain this.. Bah.
Adieu.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Chasing Pavements..
Sorry about my unannounced hiatus everyone. Todays topic is chasing pavements. A wonderful song from UK's Adele, which i've interpreted to be a song about the infamous question of "should I continue to pursue that someone even if it feels like its futile?"
Chasing pavements.. clever. Pursuing a path thats physically concrete, but emotionally unsecure. And the thing is, so many of us do it. The handful of dedicated lovers. We engage in Guerilla Warfare when it comes to the pursuit of emotional happiness. Kamikaze-ing heart first into dark waters of emotion.
And what makes us different is others would just say "fuck it" and give up. But we care so much that we actually engage in countless hours of deep thought trying to balance the scales of "i'm tired of this" and "gotta keep on", usually finding extra weight to sneak onto the latter side.
Why do we do it? None of us would be able to tell you. We're lovers by occupation. We just.. do it.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Melancholy
This week has left me in a pensive doldrum. School has provided a modest sanctuary during the day. Seeing familiar faces has pulled its share of pulling me through till the night. Things have been so bittersweet..
One the one hand, it's been amazing. I feel like i've been in Vertigo; hanging out with her, our chemistry like we've been hanging out forever. She gets along great with my friends, we enjoy the same things..
And just like that, shes back to New York.
And then, I'm practically going through a breakup with a friend. What do you do when your friendship is being taken for granted? Tell them, would seem to be the prominent answer. Are the delicate intricacies of friendships and relationships that simple though? I know I cant just say that. Gah.
One the one hand, it's been amazing. I feel like i've been in Vertigo; hanging out with her, our chemistry like we've been hanging out forever. She gets along great with my friends, we enjoy the same things..
And just like that, shes back to New York.
And then, I'm practically going through a breakup with a friend. What do you do when your friendship is being taken for granted? Tell them, would seem to be the prominent answer. Are the delicate intricacies of friendships and relationships that simple though? I know I cant just say that. Gah.
Monday, August 25, 2008
I wish I was more creative
Keeping up with posts that would actually have people interested is way harder than it may appear.
I have a random question that may never be answered:
What if we told everyone the things we truly felt? How would our relationships with other people be? How would they react? Cause sometimes I feel so inclined to do so, but I don't think many would be receptive..
I have a random question that may never be answered:
What if we told everyone the things we truly felt? How would our relationships with other people be? How would they react? Cause sometimes I feel so inclined to do so, but I don't think many would be receptive..
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Goodbye Syracuse
As I sit here fighting food coma after a heart meal from Dino BBQ (equivolent to Lucille's), I'm compelled to blog.
So I've been telling myself that I'm coming back a changed man, but I don't know if I can really be one to make that assumption about myself. But in my time away here, I would say that I engaged in some personal reflection; some if it uninentional, some unexpected. And a couple things that I've realized..
-I'm Hapa. A quick history for those that don't know, "Hapa haole" is a hawaiian termed used to identify someone who is half white and half hawaiian, a slur if you will. Now Hapa is a term embraced by the community to denote someone half asian. Some of the more famous hapas you might know are Kristin Kreuk, Amerie, Tyson Beckford, Keanu Reaves, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
And now I know you're thinking, "But you're not half white Hideki. What are you talking about?"
But I'm Japanese and Thai, with a hint of Chinese. The number one and two guesses I get when people are trying to figure out "what are you?" are 1) Filipino and 2) Samoan/Hawaiian. This is of course only if people have not already assumed that I am Filipino (despite the Japanese name). And with fear of boring and driving away the few readers I have, I'll stop there and say that if anyone would like to discuss this further I am definately open.
-I don't think I'm ready for Graduate school. Being away like this, fighting the horrid feeling of being homesick along with other problems that have troubled me emotionally, I don't know if I would be able to handle these things while objectively finishing my work without sacraficing quality. Because I've experienced a couple instances already where the previous scenario has happened.
This is pretty big for me because I had everything laid out. Get my bachelors, go straight for my masters, and work. Now I'm not sure where my future lies. The uncertainty is frightening, but such is the ambiguity of life.
Well. I'll be back in L dot A dot Californ-i-a hot tomorrow night. And I am coming back a changed man, physically and mentally. And I now bid you goodnight.
So I've been telling myself that I'm coming back a changed man, but I don't know if I can really be one to make that assumption about myself. But in my time away here, I would say that I engaged in some personal reflection; some if it uninentional, some unexpected. And a couple things that I've realized..
-I'm Hapa. A quick history for those that don't know, "Hapa haole" is a hawaiian termed used to identify someone who is half white and half hawaiian, a slur if you will. Now Hapa is a term embraced by the community to denote someone half asian. Some of the more famous hapas you might know are Kristin Kreuk, Amerie, Tyson Beckford, Keanu Reaves, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
And now I know you're thinking, "But you're not half white Hideki. What are you talking about?"
But I'm Japanese and Thai, with a hint of Chinese. The number one and two guesses I get when people are trying to figure out "what are you?" are 1) Filipino and 2) Samoan/Hawaiian. This is of course only if people have not already assumed that I am Filipino (despite the Japanese name). And with fear of boring and driving away the few readers I have, I'll stop there and say that if anyone would like to discuss this further I am definately open.
-I don't think I'm ready for Graduate school. Being away like this, fighting the horrid feeling of being homesick along with other problems that have troubled me emotionally, I don't know if I would be able to handle these things while objectively finishing my work without sacraficing quality. Because I've experienced a couple instances already where the previous scenario has happened.
This is pretty big for me because I had everything laid out. Get my bachelors, go straight for my masters, and work. Now I'm not sure where my future lies. The uncertainty is frightening, but such is the ambiguity of life.
Well. I'll be back in L dot A dot Californ-i-a hot tomorrow night. And I am coming back a changed man, physically and mentally. And I now bid you goodnight.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Can I be frank?
No. But I can be hideki (:
dut dut, cchshhhhhhh!
AAAnyway. Something I've thought about recently. I have such a HUGE passion in contemporary Asian American issues. But I feel like if I share them, people think I'm a geek. Or a White hater.
Not to say that I don't have my personal steak with White people. But it's not unjustified, and I don't hate every white person I see.
But yeah. I feel geeky.
dut dut, cchshhhhhhh!
AAAnyway. Something I've thought about recently. I have such a HUGE passion in contemporary Asian American issues. But I feel like if I share them, people think I'm a geek. Or a White hater.
Not to say that I don't have my personal steak with White people. But it's not unjustified, and I don't hate every white person I see.
But yeah. I feel geeky.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
But she would never know.
This blog won't make sense to most, so i guess its more for me. But I feel like I need to write it publicly; maybe someone will relate to my emotion.
This is a crazy story about adolescent love. I don't call it puppy love; I think thats degrading. It insinuates that the emotion is premature and not valid.
I was a sophomore in high school. We met in the lamest way possible: Myspace. She was attractive, and being the weird kid I was, I felt compelled to tell her so. Oddly enough, she replied with a humble "thank you". Through further conversation I found out that that her cousin and I went to the same high school, although she was from New York..
A few commonalities later and we soon began engaging in literally 8hr long conversations; we clicked. I didn't mind staying in all day, forming multiple inside jokes, discussing music, video games, and life.
And an attraction was born. An attraction based off personality, humor, wit, and intellect. And of course, myspace pictures. But can you imagine? An attraction to someone you've never met? And what does that say about the quality of the attraction? To know its really based off the quality of someone's mind and that chemistry with them.
Chemistry or not, 4000mi is a long ways away. We were both falling, and she said that she couldn't do a long distance relationship. And thus dissapated my first teenage love affair.
6yrs later. I'm presented with the opportunity of a summer internship in upstate NY. 4hrs from NYC, but New York nontheless. The longest I'd ever be away on my own. Physically separated from family and friends, interning for an institution known for its racial segregation, and the possiblity of meeting her.
I have spent the past 5 days in NYC, and they were AMAZING. I toured half of Manhattan on my own, and half with friends, saw original Marc Chagall and Henri Rousseau paintings, the Salvador Dali exhibit, did uncanny shopping. And I met her.
After 6 long years, I finally met her. And it was splendid. I had a wonderful time, it was like we were good friends just catching up for lunch. Words can't describe how great it felt.
I'd say 50% of the reason I took this internship was for the opportunity to meet her. And this internship has been less than desireable. My experience here is one I will always remember, but not necessarily because I had such an amazing time here.
Of all my complaints to friends, all the nothing I've done, the time i've spent missing home. It was all worth it because I met her.
But she would never know.
This is a crazy story about adolescent love. I don't call it puppy love; I think thats degrading. It insinuates that the emotion is premature and not valid.
I was a sophomore in high school. We met in the lamest way possible: Myspace. She was attractive, and being the weird kid I was, I felt compelled to tell her so. Oddly enough, she replied with a humble "thank you". Through further conversation I found out that that her cousin and I went to the same high school, although she was from New York..
A few commonalities later and we soon began engaging in literally 8hr long conversations; we clicked. I didn't mind staying in all day, forming multiple inside jokes, discussing music, video games, and life.
And an attraction was born. An attraction based off personality, humor, wit, and intellect. And of course, myspace pictures. But can you imagine? An attraction to someone you've never met? And what does that say about the quality of the attraction? To know its really based off the quality of someone's mind and that chemistry with them.
Chemistry or not, 4000mi is a long ways away. We were both falling, and she said that she couldn't do a long distance relationship. And thus dissapated my first teenage love affair.
6yrs later. I'm presented with the opportunity of a summer internship in upstate NY. 4hrs from NYC, but New York nontheless. The longest I'd ever be away on my own. Physically separated from family and friends, interning for an institution known for its racial segregation, and the possiblity of meeting her.
I have spent the past 5 days in NYC, and they were AMAZING. I toured half of Manhattan on my own, and half with friends, saw original Marc Chagall and Henri Rousseau paintings, the Salvador Dali exhibit, did uncanny shopping. And I met her.
After 6 long years, I finally met her. And it was splendid. I had a wonderful time, it was like we were good friends just catching up for lunch. Words can't describe how great it felt.
I'd say 50% of the reason I took this internship was for the opportunity to meet her. And this internship has been less than desireable. My experience here is one I will always remember, but not necessarily because I had such an amazing time here.
Of all my complaints to friends, all the nothing I've done, the time i've spent missing home. It was all worth it because I met her.
But she would never know.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
GADZ!
So my train into the city delyaed for 40 mins. Another 15 mins at the next stop, 30 mins 2 stops away from mine. Net delay was like an hour.
I grab a cab to my hostel. And by the way, the cabs here are pretty much as crazy as the movies make it seem. And I get to my hostel, only to find out the system has been down for an hour and they dont know when it'll be back up.
So it's 1:30am and I'm sitting in the basement game lounge next to a smelly german guy who makes me want to watch Beerfest then dropkick him in the kneecap, and there are two french girls playing ping pong in front of me.
I'm starving but I can't even go to the diner up the block cause i have my luggage with me and they dont check luggage.
What a welcome to NYC -__-
I grab a cab to my hostel. And by the way, the cabs here are pretty much as crazy as the movies make it seem. And I get to my hostel, only to find out the system has been down for an hour and they dont know when it'll be back up.
So it's 1:30am and I'm sitting in the basement game lounge next to a smelly german guy who makes me want to watch Beerfest then dropkick him in the kneecap, and there are two french girls playing ping pong in front of me.
I'm starving but I can't even go to the diner up the block cause i have my luggage with me and they dont check luggage.
What a welcome to NYC -__-
Saturday, July 12, 2008
The Thin Line
Between hopeful and foolish. Such a frustrating border. I always told myself and was thoroughly convinced that I was a hopeful on the border of being foolish. Now I'm pretty sure I'm foolish on the border of hopeful.
So what does this mean?
It means you can leave me hanging quite often, but the moment it seems like you care about my being, I'm right back to gaga at the hopes of sweeping you off your feet.
It means you could tell me to buy something to remind you of me, and I'll spend $10 on a 4" teddy bear with the notion that it will open up talkin' points.
Those are just a couple examples... It's such a fine line, and I'm sure people can relate. And I'm semi infamous for pursuing every girl that knows I'm alive, but I've gotten a lot better about that.
The thing is though, girls love tests. They want to be desired. They want you to work hard for them. So whats the difference between being persistent and being hopeless?
And I know there are no definate responses to these questions. But they are definately dilemmas to think about.
OR maybe none of this matters, and I just think too much.
So what does this mean?
It means you can leave me hanging quite often, but the moment it seems like you care about my being, I'm right back to gaga at the hopes of sweeping you off your feet.
It means you could tell me to buy something to remind you of me, and I'll spend $10 on a 4" teddy bear with the notion that it will open up talkin' points.
Those are just a couple examples... It's such a fine line, and I'm sure people can relate. And I'm semi infamous for pursuing every girl that knows I'm alive, but I've gotten a lot better about that.
The thing is though, girls love tests. They want to be desired. They want you to work hard for them. So whats the difference between being persistent and being hopeless?
And I know there are no definate responses to these questions. But they are definately dilemmas to think about.
OR maybe none of this matters, and I just think too much.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
I had something important to blog about
And i forgot it -___- Got caught up watching the season finale of Real World.
Via a vent session with Stay Fun Knee, I got into talking about friendships.
Friendships are fascinating. My biggest observation over the years has been that a solid chunk of these friendships, relationships, and all those other ships, are based on convenience.
And I'm continually astonished by the ease in which kinship can be so easily forgotten. How can a bond of memories, experiences, and similarities be thrown out with the junk mail in an instant?
Here's the thing. So everyone has different interpretations of "friendship." And not everybody's conceptions are the same, but we always tend to hold our own beliefs as the norm(such an American ego-centric concept) and end up confused when others don't reflect our views.
If you're my good friend, and we hang out or talk at least once a week, and things just stop for no reason, I see that as a failure. I feel like I have failed to uphold my friendship duties and my hands are tired of holding on to something I just can't grasp anymore.
And I've confronted some previously close friends about the deconstruction of such a great friendship, and the response that i find oddly peculiar, is that:
"things just got busy with our lives. but just because we dont talk as often doesn't mean we aren't good friends."
I don't know. I kinda feel it is. I mean, our friendship will always have those special moments, but you mean to tell me that good friendships can be maintained with a casual quarter yearly check up? That doesn't sit right with me.
So what does this mean? Do I need to change my notions of friendship to resonate with the majority? Or do I continue to follow my antic perceptions and expectations? What's the balance between the two?
Stuff to sleep on, I suppose.
Via a vent session with Stay Fun Knee, I got into talking about friendships.
Friendships are fascinating. My biggest observation over the years has been that a solid chunk of these friendships, relationships, and all those other ships, are based on convenience.
And I'm continually astonished by the ease in which kinship can be so easily forgotten. How can a bond of memories, experiences, and similarities be thrown out with the junk mail in an instant?
Here's the thing. So everyone has different interpretations of "friendship." And not everybody's conceptions are the same, but we always tend to hold our own beliefs as the norm(such an American ego-centric concept) and end up confused when others don't reflect our views.
If you're my good friend, and we hang out or talk at least once a week, and things just stop for no reason, I see that as a failure. I feel like I have failed to uphold my friendship duties and my hands are tired of holding on to something I just can't grasp anymore.
And I've confronted some previously close friends about the deconstruction of such a great friendship, and the response that i find oddly peculiar, is that:
"things just got busy with our lives. but just because we dont talk as often doesn't mean we aren't good friends."
I don't know. I kinda feel it is. I mean, our friendship will always have those special moments, but you mean to tell me that good friendships can be maintained with a casual quarter yearly check up? That doesn't sit right with me.
So what does this mean? Do I need to change my notions of friendship to resonate with the majority? Or do I continue to follow my antic perceptions and expectations? What's the balance between the two?
Stuff to sleep on, I suppose.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Montreal!
First off, some recent acquisitions from my trip :D
If you know me, you know my weakness for Retro Reebok Pumps. With this cop, I'm officially at pair #3
.JPG)
Pseudo Kanye West-esque blinder sunglasses. Veronica was the first person with 'em, I was feelin' the steeze.
.JPG)
Whaaaaaaaaat?! Calculator Watch/TV Remote! BALLINNNNNN' KIDDDDDDD!
And now to talk about the town. LOVELY! A lot of the architecture is very French inspired. 2-3 story restaurants, patio dining is a must, and you can smell pizza and crepes from the streets. The food was good, but definately overpriced. Restaurant burgers were like 11-15$. But my beer was humongous!
They give you mugs according to what kinda beer you order.. And I thought I had a matching problem...
The city in general was filled with relatively attractive people. More so than here in Syracuse. There were also ASIAN PEOPLE! A concept almost foreign to me at this point.
Yo, on the [not so] down low, Asian girls with French accents? HOT!
So first night, went out to a couple bar/clubs. First was XOtica. Electro with a slight mix of 80s rock and an occasional Michael Jackson track mixed in. The crowd wasn't that good, but the promoter guy outside told us they had 3$ drinks so we went in. BEAUTIFUL bartender, who was also a very pleasant gal. Had a few drinks, then headed off to another joint called Ultra Light Club
Supposedly this was where the Asian people partied at. Seeing as how my roommate and I hadn't seen Asian people in a while, we thought it would be nice to party with some. There were a few asian people in the joint, and a couple cute asian bartenders.
So my roommate and I decide to approach a couple girls, and before I get a word out to them, a third girl comes up and puts her hand out in my face and says "No." Ultimate Cock Block. She was a UBC. It was like that one episode of Chapelle Show where he does the Player Hater's Ball.
They weren't even that fly, I was just trying to have a conversation ya know? So my roommate and I just had a few more drinks, talked to the bartender a little. She told us the spot to be at for Asian people was a joint called Tonic.
::SIDE NOTE:: Really funny. And kinda flatering, I think? But there were people promoting safe sex by handing out free Trojan condoms. So this chick comes up to me and gives me the condom. And I say "thanks" naturally. And then she looks at me, and gives me another and says "you never know" and smiles and walks away. HAHAHAH.
For those who've read this far, thanks (: Got one more night to cover.
So saturday night, starts out the same. Min was skeptical about Tonic, so after XOtica, we head to Ultra Light again. Same horrible crowd, so we go to the bar to get some drinks, and the same bartender looks at us and says "what are you doing here?" hahahah. So we hang out for a little bit, Min tried to open up with some white girls, which failed miserably. So then we decide to go to Tonic.
CHA-CHING! Great club, nice people, cute girls. Met and talked to a few nice people, found a group of 3 girls to dance with. I wasn't even tryin' to get close on 'em, and I just started backin' the ghetto booty up a little, and they were like "woah." hahahha. and i was like "woah! what just happened." They just couldn't handle the Hideki Booty. Then again, not many can (:
But overall, a great night in comparison to the first (:
Annnd, that is the jist of my weekend. I'll update with a few more pictures from the trip tomorrow..
Comments! :D
If you know me, you know my weakness for Retro Reebok Pumps. With this cop, I'm officially at pair #3
.JPG)
Pseudo Kanye West-esque blinder sunglasses. Veronica was the first person with 'em, I was feelin' the steeze.
.JPG)
Whaaaaaaaaat?! Calculator Watch/TV Remote! BALLINNNNNN' KIDDDDDDD!
And now to talk about the town. LOVELY! A lot of the architecture is very French inspired. 2-3 story restaurants, patio dining is a must, and you can smell pizza and crepes from the streets. The food was good, but definately overpriced. Restaurant burgers were like 11-15$. But my beer was humongous!
They give you mugs according to what kinda beer you order.. And I thought I had a matching problem...
The city in general was filled with relatively attractive people. More so than here in Syracuse. There were also ASIAN PEOPLE! A concept almost foreign to me at this point.
Yo, on the [not so] down low, Asian girls with French accents? HOT!
So first night, went out to a couple bar/clubs. First was XOtica. Electro with a slight mix of 80s rock and an occasional Michael Jackson track mixed in. The crowd wasn't that good, but the promoter guy outside told us they had 3$ drinks so we went in. BEAUTIFUL bartender, who was also a very pleasant gal. Had a few drinks, then headed off to another joint called Ultra Light Club
Supposedly this was where the Asian people partied at. Seeing as how my roommate and I hadn't seen Asian people in a while, we thought it would be nice to party with some. There were a few asian people in the joint, and a couple cute asian bartenders.
So my roommate and I decide to approach a couple girls, and before I get a word out to them, a third girl comes up and puts her hand out in my face and says "No." Ultimate Cock Block. She was a UBC. It was like that one episode of Chapelle Show where he does the Player Hater's Ball.
They weren't even that fly, I was just trying to have a conversation ya know? So my roommate and I just had a few more drinks, talked to the bartender a little. She told us the spot to be at for Asian people was a joint called Tonic.
::SIDE NOTE:: Really funny. And kinda flatering, I think? But there were people promoting safe sex by handing out free Trojan condoms. So this chick comes up to me and gives me the condom. And I say "thanks" naturally. And then she looks at me, and gives me another and says "you never know" and smiles and walks away. HAHAHAH.
For those who've read this far, thanks (: Got one more night to cover.
So saturday night, starts out the same. Min was skeptical about Tonic, so after XOtica, we head to Ultra Light again. Same horrible crowd, so we go to the bar to get some drinks, and the same bartender looks at us and says "what are you doing here?" hahahah. So we hang out for a little bit, Min tried to open up with some white girls, which failed miserably. So then we decide to go to Tonic.
CHA-CHING! Great club, nice people, cute girls. Met and talked to a few nice people, found a group of 3 girls to dance with. I wasn't even tryin' to get close on 'em, and I just started backin' the ghetto booty up a little, and they were like "woah." hahahha. and i was like "woah! what just happened." They just couldn't handle the Hideki Booty. Then again, not many can (:
But overall, a great night in comparison to the first (:
Annnd, that is the jist of my weekend. I'll update with a few more pictures from the trip tomorrow..
Comments! :D
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
So I was washing the dishes...
And on one of the plates, it had these yellow streaks on it. And I couldn't tell if it was egg yolk or mustard, but I was just so damn curious as to what it was, so I am about to smell it.
Then I think. Either way, i'll probably gag. And it's not that important. So I refrain from smelling it and just clean it. Just found that kinda funny.
I'll have a couple pictures in the next update, I'm too lazy to grab my camera right now. But the other day, I saw the most beautiful sky here; it looked like the sky was CGI or painted on or something. You'll see when I post..
No mid-week cheat meal. I'm going to Montreal, Canada this weekend. So it'll be kind of a cheat weekend. Lookin' to get some GREAT pictures form there. And just have a great weekend, it's been a while.
Hey poll. Should I wax my chest hair?
Then I think. Either way, i'll probably gag. And it's not that important. So I refrain from smelling it and just clean it. Just found that kinda funny.
I'll have a couple pictures in the next update, I'm too lazy to grab my camera right now. But the other day, I saw the most beautiful sky here; it looked like the sky was CGI or painted on or something. You'll see when I post..
No mid-week cheat meal. I'm going to Montreal, Canada this weekend. So it'll be kind of a cheat weekend. Lookin' to get some GREAT pictures form there. And just have a great weekend, it's been a while.
Hey poll. Should I wax my chest hair?
Monday, June 30, 2008
HI SPEED INTERNET!
YAYYY! 'Bout damn time too. You know what else its time for? PICTURES!
An adorable littel girl playing with her mom at the airport. I was having a breakfast crossaint sandwich at the JFK airport waiting for my transfer, and this little girl was just so cute.
The view of the front of my apt. Its the second door from the right.
The tiny kitchen, first thing you come into in my apt
Go upstairs, and theres 2 bedrooms and a bathroom. This is my quaint little room.
This deer was chillin' out in the back of my apt. He decided to stop by again later at 2AM and scare the shit outta me.
If I'm not sleeping, cooking, or at the gym, this is my view everyday. On the couch, with my laptop, watching food network -___-
The hills in front of my apt. Nice evening.
The concerts in the park-esque place (via last post). It's right on this lake, real pretty view.
More park.
A funny sign near the 220z tall boy vendors. "Sidewalk Closed Dude".
Hopefully more photos comming soon (: Comment comment comment!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Syracuse, day whatever.
Still don't have a fast internet connection so I can't upload photos. WAACK!
So my supervisor told us (Min and I) about some kind of concerts in the park type deal that happens every thursday, and so we went to check it out. She told us it starts at 6, and when we got there it was filling up with a bunch of white people(no surprise) who were either drinking tall boys or 16oz bottles of arbor mist hahah. The band looked like a mid-40 year old version of Disturbed.
After thoroughly feeling akward, Min suggested we go bowling. So we used my navi and found 3 local bowling alleys. The first one looked really shady, so we decided to check out the next closest one. Upon arrival at bowling alley#2, we were surrounded by nothing but houses. So our last shot, we checked out #3 which was closed. on a thursday. possibly indefinately.
Went home. Called it a night. Friday night, went out to downtown, only to be dissapointed again. Came home at like.. 12:30 (we were out for an hour) and did nothingggg.
Yesterday we watched Wanted, which is a REALLY good movie. And gaddamn is Angelina Jolie hot. After was our cheat meal.
So for this cheat meal, we ordered a medium pan pepperoni mushroom onion from Pizza Hut, a 6pc bucket, large mac and cheese, and 3 biscuits from KFC, 6pack michelob ultra, and i got a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby.
I ate 3 slices of pizza, 2 breasts and a drumstick, a biscuit, half the order of mac and cheese, a beer, and half the pint of chubby hubby.
According to Lainey, thats nothing. But I felt disgusting after that. And that was the highlight of my weekend.
Gimme topics to blog about!
So my supervisor told us (Min and I) about some kind of concerts in the park type deal that happens every thursday, and so we went to check it out. She told us it starts at 6, and when we got there it was filling up with a bunch of white people(no surprise) who were either drinking tall boys or 16oz bottles of arbor mist hahah. The band looked like a mid-40 year old version of Disturbed.
After thoroughly feeling akward, Min suggested we go bowling. So we used my navi and found 3 local bowling alleys. The first one looked really shady, so we decided to check out the next closest one. Upon arrival at bowling alley#2, we were surrounded by nothing but houses. So our last shot, we checked out #3 which was closed. on a thursday. possibly indefinately.
Went home. Called it a night. Friday night, went out to downtown, only to be dissapointed again. Came home at like.. 12:30 (we were out for an hour) and did nothingggg.
Yesterday we watched Wanted, which is a REALLY good movie. And gaddamn is Angelina Jolie hot. After was our cheat meal.
So for this cheat meal, we ordered a medium pan pepperoni mushroom onion from Pizza Hut, a 6pc bucket, large mac and cheese, and 3 biscuits from KFC, 6pack michelob ultra, and i got a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby.
I ate 3 slices of pizza, 2 breasts and a drumstick, a biscuit, half the order of mac and cheese, a beer, and half the pint of chubby hubby.
According to Lainey, thats nothing. But I felt disgusting after that. And that was the highlight of my weekend.
Gimme topics to blog about!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Topics!
I've realized that I would rather blog about topics and stuff. Like I love reading peoples blogs and commenting on what they have to say; I guess something like a discussion.
So if you have any ideas of topics I should blog about, let me know (: or if you'd like to hear my opinion about anything do so as well. Unless you're asking me about something like Utilitarianism and Business Ethics (you will not con me into writing essays for you StacycatS).
So tonight I will be discussing falling asleep in lectures or while studying. A sever medical condition that I have learned to live with. I often tend to fall asleep during lectures or studying. My friend Stacy also mentioned that she had the same problem, and I've developed a theory on it.
So as kids, our parents have either read us bedtime stories or we're given books to read until we fall asleep. This soon becomes a subconcious theme were reading or being read to induces sleepiness, thus we fall asleep. 15 years later, when we find ourselves amidst lectures or trying to engage in rigorous studying, we become sleepy.
Thoughts? (You're welcome to comment anounymously, just let me know who you are at the end of your comment :] )
So if you have any ideas of topics I should blog about, let me know (: or if you'd like to hear my opinion about anything do so as well. Unless you're asking me about something like Utilitarianism and Business Ethics (you will not con me into writing essays for you StacycatS).
So tonight I will be discussing falling asleep in lectures or while studying. A sever medical condition that I have learned to live with. I often tend to fall asleep during lectures or studying. My friend Stacy also mentioned that she had the same problem, and I've developed a theory on it.
So as kids, our parents have either read us bedtime stories or we're given books to read until we fall asleep. This soon becomes a subconcious theme were reading or being read to induces sleepiness, thus we fall asleep. 15 years later, when we find ourselves amidst lectures or trying to engage in rigorous studying, we become sleepy.
Thoughts? (You're welcome to comment anounymously, just let me know who you are at the end of your comment :] )
Monday, June 23, 2008
Blah
damn. i want to be productive and like.. write. and do stuff. but i just have no inspiration. and I hate it.
So Min and I are watching TV after dinner, the usual, and then he tells me about how he had some kinda neck therapy or hypnosis or something done to his neck, and after he started to feel weird. He started stuttering sometimes he had to gather his thoughts; problems that never had affected him before.
So he looked up the symptoms online, and a lot of the symptoms he had are connected to some crazy medical condition called Aphasia. So he went to the hospital and they're gonna keep him overnight and do some tests on him tomorrow and stuff.
So please say a prayer for him. Hope everythings ok...
On a lighter note. Some of you know that this past semester, I did Karaoke almost every monday @ school cause we do karaoke in the pub from 12-1 on mondays. Well thanks to Lalaine, I can now do karaoke whenever i want! myspace has this beta karaoke site; www.ksolo.myspace.com. Pretty interesting. I dont know how I feel about making peoples ears bleed, but it seem's like it'd be fun to give it a run.. I think I'll do that now..
So Min and I are watching TV after dinner, the usual, and then he tells me about how he had some kinda neck therapy or hypnosis or something done to his neck, and after he started to feel weird. He started stuttering sometimes he had to gather his thoughts; problems that never had affected him before.
So he looked up the symptoms online, and a lot of the symptoms he had are connected to some crazy medical condition called Aphasia. So he went to the hospital and they're gonna keep him overnight and do some tests on him tomorrow and stuff.
So please say a prayer for him. Hope everythings ok...
On a lighter note. Some of you know that this past semester, I did Karaoke almost every monday @ school cause we do karaoke in the pub from 12-1 on mondays. Well thanks to Lalaine, I can now do karaoke whenever i want! myspace has this beta karaoke site; www.ksolo.myspace.com. Pretty interesting. I dont know how I feel about making peoples ears bleed, but it seem's like it'd be fun to give it a run.. I think I'll do that now..
Friday, June 20, 2008
I'm watching
George Lopez on Nick @ Night, and the son is being picked on by bullies. So the mom has a lady and her son over looking at fine China thats shes selling, and remembers the lady's son goes to the same school as her son. She wants to get him some friends so he cant get picked on and George is like "You cant hook him up on a blind date to make friends. A kid falls in the cafateria, one squirts milk out his nose cause he's laughing so hard, the other farts because he's laughing so hard and BAM! Best friends."
That really resonated with me, not because thats how i found my bestfriends, but because its simple character traits like that, that can make you feel like you have so much in common with someone else.
Or maybe it was just funny and i should leave it at that.
So today was my cheat meal from my diet. When you go on a diet, they say its ok to have a cheat meal a couple days out of the week. I might not do a couple days, but at least once a week for sure.
I ate at this place called Dinosaur BBQ. BOOOOOMB.COM! It was like Lucille's BBQ on methanine dioxy methane phetamine. I had an appetizer sampler, and a beef brisket, 1/4 rack of ribs, 1/4 BBQ chicken entree combo with mac&cheese and mashed potatoes, and a beer. And I killed EVERYTHING. I forgot to bring my camera to take pictures, but I'm sure i'll be there once more before I leave.
On another note. I'm kinda homesick :/ I barely get texts/calls/IMs. Which is nothing new. But I dont see people either. To be as extroverted as I am and have little human contact like I do is something pretty crazy. But I guess its good for me. I guess. I think that'll do it for me tonight.
I lovvvvve comments. hint hint. (:
That really resonated with me, not because thats how i found my bestfriends, but because its simple character traits like that, that can make you feel like you have so much in common with someone else.
Or maybe it was just funny and i should leave it at that.
So today was my cheat meal from my diet. When you go on a diet, they say its ok to have a cheat meal a couple days out of the week. I might not do a couple days, but at least once a week for sure.
I ate at this place called Dinosaur BBQ. BOOOOOMB.COM! It was like Lucille's BBQ on methanine dioxy methane phetamine. I had an appetizer sampler, and a beef brisket, 1/4 rack of ribs, 1/4 BBQ chicken entree combo with mac&cheese and mashed potatoes, and a beer. And I killed EVERYTHING. I forgot to bring my camera to take pictures, but I'm sure i'll be there once more before I leave.
On another note. I'm kinda homesick :/ I barely get texts/calls/IMs. Which is nothing new. But I dont see people either. To be as extroverted as I am and have little human contact like I do is something pretty crazy. But I guess its good for me. I guess. I think that'll do it for me tonight.
I lovvvvve comments. hint hint. (:
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Syracuse: Day 7
So I get vocab words mailed to me daily from dictionary.com because i'm hoping it'll help me expand my selection of weapons when writing spoken word.
Today's word is defenestrate. A verb, meaning to throw out a window. The example sentence given was "I defenstrated a clock to see if time flies."
I don't know if i'll ever have any possible use of that word in real life hahah. But i thoguht that was interesting.
So last post i mentioned a guy named Cedric who does spoken word workshops and stuff. He's a real down guy, and he's actually a producer too. He told me he'd send a link so I cold DL his album. I'mma check that out and hopefully it'll be good, cause he's all about that Pharcyde/Rakim/Wu-Tang tip. I told him that i'd be interested in going to his workshops and droppin a couple pieces at his open mic, and he said he might wanna have me as the nights featured poet. DAAAAAAMN. Just a little pressure.
I was thinking about finishing my piece entitled "Irony". It's a piece where i talk about some of the intricate ironys that i've found that have had some part in my life and my growth as a person. A small preview of a few bars:
Irony.
cause you work hard to be the driving force for change
but you're left with no guard and all the shits the same
so ultimately you feel like your day to day is all in vain
but you relentlessly push on gathering your salt grains.
i need to add a lot more to that. but thats the jist of it.
So, i'm going into the city mid July. I was thinking about getting my tattoo then. My family crest, probably about 4" diameter on my left shoulder blade.
The crest is called "maru ni ken katabami' or, a wood sorrel with swords going in it, inside a circle. Family crests in Japan are used to designate a family's skillset, i.e. farmers, blacksmiths, healers, samurai, et cetera.
The wood sorrel was often used in medical salves back in the feudal lord eras of Japan, and the swords penetrating from it started as an appeal for familys known for the martial arts. My grandfather came from a line of farmers while my grandmother came from a line of samurais and chinese medicine experts.
So yeah, thought i'd get that on my back. I've also contemplated getting it as a short sleeve with other designs too.. but i'm not sure yet. suggestions?
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Syracuse: Day 5
Had my first seminar today which went well. My roommate (Min) is mad cool, but it's nice to have contact with other humans hahah. Met some other people in the office, and i found out one of the guys named Cedric runs spoken word workshops for students, so i really wanna chop it up with him.
Breakfast was the same oatmeal and whey protein. For lunch, my roommate made lean groudn turkey with spinach and spaghetti sauce which was pretty good. Then I went to the gym, ran a mile, upper body circuit again, and then just shot around bball with Min for another 20 mins (extra cardio). Yo my body is suuuuuuuper feelin' it. But it feels so good. I used to be sore like this all the time playing soccer in high school, i miss it.
For Dinner, Min and I tried some random concoction. We did shrimp and eggplant, carotts peas corn and onions with this spicy garlic sauce we bought from the Asian grocery store (which is mad legit) and soy sauce. Little did we know that "spicy garlic sauce" means red chili paste with a hint of garlic. Stuff was pretty spicy. But it was good considering it was pretty healthy. Light salt and pepper; I'd say the meal was no more than 400 calories. I took a picture of it, but to my i had left my memory card in my computer -_- so sorry, no pictures.
I wanted to go to the Zoo tomorrow, but it's probably gonna be raining again, sooo not sure what i'll be doing tomorrow. Probably reading, run another mile, try out another recipe.
Gonna try and go to Montreal sometime soon. We're only like 2 hrs away which is chill, and I've never been to Canada.
And I leave you with something interesting I saw today:
So I was in the campus bookstore looking around, and they had a Ralph Lauren Polo brand windbreaker with Syracuse University embroidered on it: $76.99
yeaaaaaaaahh..
haha k, until next time (:
Breakfast was the same oatmeal and whey protein. For lunch, my roommate made lean groudn turkey with spinach and spaghetti sauce which was pretty good. Then I went to the gym, ran a mile, upper body circuit again, and then just shot around bball with Min for another 20 mins (extra cardio). Yo my body is suuuuuuuper feelin' it. But it feels so good. I used to be sore like this all the time playing soccer in high school, i miss it.
For Dinner, Min and I tried some random concoction. We did shrimp and eggplant, carotts peas corn and onions with this spicy garlic sauce we bought from the Asian grocery store (which is mad legit) and soy sauce. Little did we know that "spicy garlic sauce" means red chili paste with a hint of garlic. Stuff was pretty spicy. But it was good considering it was pretty healthy. Light salt and pepper; I'd say the meal was no more than 400 calories. I took a picture of it, but to my i had left my memory card in my computer -_- so sorry, no pictures.
I wanted to go to the Zoo tomorrow, but it's probably gonna be raining again, sooo not sure what i'll be doing tomorrow. Probably reading, run another mile, try out another recipe.
Gonna try and go to Montreal sometime soon. We're only like 2 hrs away which is chill, and I've never been to Canada.
And I leave you with something interesting I saw today:
So I was in the campus bookstore looking around, and they had a Ralph Lauren Polo brand windbreaker with Syracuse University embroidered on it: $76.99
yeaaaaaaaahh..
haha k, until next time (:
Monday, June 16, 2008
somethin' coo
about not having much to do, is I get a chance to blog a little more often. not that these are quality blogs -_- but i think that just the prospect of having this time to be with myself and really just reflect on my day to day is whats nice.
So today, I woke up to the usual breakfast; brown sugar oatmeal with a serving of whey protein. Ran some errands, came back and did some reading. And then i took a nap -_- i've been so tired lately its weird. Aaanyway. Woke up from the nap, made myself an spinach and provolone cheese omlette with Eggbeaters. Yo, that stuff is pretty amazing for not being all egg.
Thennn, went to the gym. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN! i know right? Mann. Ran a mile, upper body circuit, situps, then played an hour of bball. And i was dyingggggg. And hopefully I'll be doin' this everyday (: and come back a new man. kinda.
So now that i've thoroughly bored you with a play-by-play of my day, I wanna talk about the book I'm reading.
So some of you know this, but Fight Club is one of my favorite movies. And its actually based on the book Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. I've read that and a few others by him which have all been great. Right now I'm reading Stranger Than Fiction, which has nothing to do with the Will Ferrel movie btw.
It's basically a collection of wild stories, some about him, and others about others. If anyone remembers fight club, the beginning of the movie shows Edward Norton going around to multiple support groups for diseases he doesn't have so that he can add some kind of validation to his life.
This idea of the character came about because Palahniuk used to work at a hospice, in which he drove elderly people to support groups for their respective terminal illnesses. People always assumed he was in the same boat, and he stormed up the idea for fight club.
So Stranger Than Fiction is basically a collection of stories he's heard from people, or his experiences. He said in his foreward that he would call up phone sex numbers and ask the chick to tell him her craziest experience, and he would get these elaborate concoctions that seemed borderline impossible, but the raw emotion that would arise as these people told there stories made him think that either they were the best story tellers ever or that they just experienced insane events; either way he felt the stories were worthy of retelling.
So if I haven't bored you by now, I wanna read a quote from one of his stories that I really liked. This is about how so many writers tell stories of their lives to make it in the industry as if it was for their salvation. This is actually a quote from a philosopher by the name of Martin Heidegger:
"...human beings tend to look at the world as standing stock of material ready for us to use. As inventory to be processed into something more valuable. Trees into wood. Animals into meat. He called this world of raw natural resources: bestand.
It seems inevitable that peope without acess to natural bestand such as oil wells or diamond minds, that they'd turn into the only inventory they do have--their lives.
More and more the bestand of our era is our own intellectual property. Our ideas. Our life stories. Our experience."
I think the prospect of us using our experiences as our valuable natural resources is brilliant. I suppose thats why I enjoy writing spoken word so much. Maybe its because I feel like its the one valuable thing that I have an abundance of.
And thats enough thinking for tonight. I think 2 people will have read this far anyway.
So today, I woke up to the usual breakfast; brown sugar oatmeal with a serving of whey protein. Ran some errands, came back and did some reading. And then i took a nap -_- i've been so tired lately its weird. Aaanyway. Woke up from the nap, made myself an spinach and provolone cheese omlette with Eggbeaters. Yo, that stuff is pretty amazing for not being all egg.
Thennn, went to the gym. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN! i know right? Mann. Ran a mile, upper body circuit, situps, then played an hour of bball. And i was dyingggggg. And hopefully I'll be doin' this everyday (: and come back a new man. kinda.
So now that i've thoroughly bored you with a play-by-play of my day, I wanna talk about the book I'm reading.
So some of you know this, but Fight Club is one of my favorite movies. And its actually based on the book Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. I've read that and a few others by him which have all been great. Right now I'm reading Stranger Than Fiction, which has nothing to do with the Will Ferrel movie btw.
It's basically a collection of wild stories, some about him, and others about others. If anyone remembers fight club, the beginning of the movie shows Edward Norton going around to multiple support groups for diseases he doesn't have so that he can add some kind of validation to his life.
This idea of the character came about because Palahniuk used to work at a hospice, in which he drove elderly people to support groups for their respective terminal illnesses. People always assumed he was in the same boat, and he stormed up the idea for fight club.
So Stranger Than Fiction is basically a collection of stories he's heard from people, or his experiences. He said in his foreward that he would call up phone sex numbers and ask the chick to tell him her craziest experience, and he would get these elaborate concoctions that seemed borderline impossible, but the raw emotion that would arise as these people told there stories made him think that either they were the best story tellers ever or that they just experienced insane events; either way he felt the stories were worthy of retelling.
So if I haven't bored you by now, I wanna read a quote from one of his stories that I really liked. This is about how so many writers tell stories of their lives to make it in the industry as if it was for their salvation. This is actually a quote from a philosopher by the name of Martin Heidegger:
"...human beings tend to look at the world as standing stock of material ready for us to use. As inventory to be processed into something more valuable. Trees into wood. Animals into meat. He called this world of raw natural resources: bestand.
It seems inevitable that peope without acess to natural bestand such as oil wells or diamond minds, that they'd turn into the only inventory they do have--their lives.
More and more the bestand of our era is our own intellectual property. Our ideas. Our life stories. Our experience."
I think the prospect of us using our experiences as our valuable natural resources is brilliant. I suppose thats why I enjoy writing spoken word so much. Maybe its because I feel like its the one valuable thing that I have an abundance of.
And thats enough thinking for tonight. I think 2 people will have read this far anyway.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Syracuse: Day 3
So i tried to upload pictures, but i'm logged onto a guest internet connection because i dont know my ID and password yet, so the connection is super slow. hopefully i'll have acquired the information by tomorrows update.
I don't do much here. Wake up at 2pm. Eat a bowl of oatmeal, watch TV or read. Have a snack, cook dinner. Hopefully I'll have more stuff to do once I start my seminars, but i hoenstly am pretty skeptical.
Today's word of the day (via dictionarydotcom) is claque. Pernounced "clack", its basically a group hired to applaud at performances. I dont know if this will be useful for my spoken word poetry expansion. then again, you never know.
The world is going crazy. R Kelly is acquitted of all his charges. Iowa State is submerged under 40ft of water. Hideki is in New York. CRAZY!
OH! Another interesting story. So back in 97, there were two Asian girls at a Denny's in Syracuse. They were being made fun of by some white guys and got into an argument which turned into a physical quarrel. Basically, these white boys started to beat on the Asian girls while the security guards stood back and watched. Some Black guys came to the girls rescue after confronting the security guards about not doing their job. Charges were pressed for Assault both actively through the acomplice, as well as passively through the security guard's nonaction.
Now check this. The D.A. was cousins with one of the security guard, so he dropped the case and nothing ever happened. That D.A. is still in office today. Corruption at its finest, no? I definately will not be going to any Denny's around here. Not that I'm afraid of getting my ass beat, cause I'll stomp on any white boy talkin' shit to me. But man if the government in this city is that corrupt, i don't even wanna mess.
I don't do much here. Wake up at 2pm. Eat a bowl of oatmeal, watch TV or read. Have a snack, cook dinner. Hopefully I'll have more stuff to do once I start my seminars, but i hoenstly am pretty skeptical.
Today's word of the day (via dictionarydotcom) is claque. Pernounced "clack", its basically a group hired to applaud at performances. I dont know if this will be useful for my spoken word poetry expansion. then again, you never know.
The world is going crazy. R Kelly is acquitted of all his charges. Iowa State is submerged under 40ft of water. Hideki is in New York. CRAZY!
OH! Another interesting story. So back in 97, there were two Asian girls at a Denny's in Syracuse. They were being made fun of by some white guys and got into an argument which turned into a physical quarrel. Basically, these white boys started to beat on the Asian girls while the security guards stood back and watched. Some Black guys came to the girls rescue after confronting the security guards about not doing their job. Charges were pressed for Assault both actively through the acomplice, as well as passively through the security guard's nonaction.
Now check this. The D.A. was cousins with one of the security guard, so he dropped the case and nothing ever happened. That D.A. is still in office today. Corruption at its finest, no? I definately will not be going to any Denny's around here. Not that I'm afraid of getting my ass beat, cause I'll stomp on any white boy talkin' shit to me. But man if the government in this city is that corrupt, i don't even wanna mess.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
When Life Gives You Lemons
You Paint That Shit Gold
Pick up that album by Atmosphere. Fire.
Sooo day 2 in syracuse. Went to this mall that was acclaimed to be super fancy and cool. And it turns out its just like Brea Mall. Except they have a carousel. Bought this month's editions of YRB and Filter mag and Chuck Palahniuk's new novel "Snuff".
I'll start doing pictures soon. Haven't really had much to take pictures of. Im gonna try to do video blogs too, lets see how that works.
But real quick, I wanna share something that happened today. So me and my roommate are walking around downtown Syracuse checkin' out the bars and stuff. And this black guy sticks his hand out like he wants some props and says "Wsup?"
So i shake his hand and say "chillin' " and then he asks "where the ladys at?" and i say "you tell me man, where the hunnies at?" and he says "around the corner on south street." and i ask him where its at, and he tells me. and so i ask again "and they got fly hunnies over there?" and he says "Yeah, you can get your dick sucked for 4$"
HAHAHAHAH. What a funny guy. He was dead serious too. Then he proceeded to ask me for 4$ for food. So i bought him a burger and left. But man, that was funny.
Between now and the next time you read my blog, listen to Just Like The Rest Of Us - Atmosphere.
Pick up that album by Atmosphere. Fire.
Sooo day 2 in syracuse. Went to this mall that was acclaimed to be super fancy and cool. And it turns out its just like Brea Mall. Except they have a carousel. Bought this month's editions of YRB and Filter mag and Chuck Palahniuk's new novel "Snuff".
I'll start doing pictures soon. Haven't really had much to take pictures of. Im gonna try to do video blogs too, lets see how that works.
But real quick, I wanna share something that happened today. So me and my roommate are walking around downtown Syracuse checkin' out the bars and stuff. And this black guy sticks his hand out like he wants some props and says "Wsup?"
So i shake his hand and say "chillin' " and then he asks "where the ladys at?" and i say "you tell me man, where the hunnies at?" and he says "around the corner on south street." and i ask him where its at, and he tells me. and so i ask again "and they got fly hunnies over there?" and he says "Yeah, you can get your dick sucked for 4$"
HAHAHAHAH. What a funny guy. He was dead serious too. Then he proceeded to ask me for 4$ for food. So i bought him a burger and left. But man, that was funny.
Between now and the next time you read my blog, listen to Just Like The Rest Of Us - Atmosphere.
Friday, June 13, 2008
I'm heeeeeeeeeeeere (:
And on a good day from what I'm told. The weather is about 80 degrees. I'd guestimate 50% humidity. I miss Cali weather ): haha.
So my place is chill. no airconditioning though (WTF?!) But they gave us fans hahah. I'll take pictures of the place later and post 'em up.
Just wanted to do a real quick update. And here's something I learned today. Syracuse University was built on top of a hill so historically, only rich white people went to school there. Downtown was where all the minorities were at, so all the people up on the hill could look down on all the puerto ricans and blacks. How elite-ist, ey?
k, until next time :D
So my place is chill. no airconditioning though (WTF?!) But they gave us fans hahah. I'll take pictures of the place later and post 'em up.
Just wanted to do a real quick update. And here's something I learned today. Syracuse University was built on top of a hill so historically, only rich white people went to school there. Downtown was where all the minorities were at, so all the people up on the hill could look down on all the puerto ricans and blacks. How elite-ist, ey?
k, until next time :D
Thursday, June 12, 2008
I packed my bags and I'm about to go
I'm giving you the time to be alone.
Az Yet - I Don't Wanna Be Lonely
How many people said "Oh shit. That was the jam.." just right now? eh? eh?
Btw, you should be able to make comments on my blogs anounymously. just leave a name at the end if you'd like :)
So i'm using the lyrics above ^ in a different context. I feel like I'm leaving my life to find myself almost. Here I am, 24hrs before I leave to NY for a few months, and its just hitting me right now. I havent started packing and I'm having a quasi mini panic attack.
I'm leaving for 2 months. The longest I've been away from my family has been 6 days. The longest I've been away with my family is 2 weeks. I'm leaving for 2 MONTHS. (Sidebar, with my ADHD, i just went to dictionary.com to make sure i used "quasi" in the right context and ended up signing up to get a word-of-the-day emailed to me. wow.)
Ok, i'm leaving for 2 months. And theres so much i'm thinking about. I get homesick :/ And, I'm missing some of my best friend's graduations. Peter, Keith, Joanna, Laura. They've worked for and achieved so much, and I cant even celebrate their accomplishments with them.
And I also just feel like theres gonna be so much this summer that I'm gonna miss out on. So many more inside jokes that I won't be involved with. And it kills me to think theres a prospect of drifting further away from my friends.
And I'm nervous about what i'll be doing with my internship. Working in a Multicultural Affairs Department in a school thats 80% Caucasian. Does it really make in an impact? Or is my work just gonna be token multicultural work so that the Institution saves face and wont be labeled as racist. Which then makes me turn on the existential vacuum, and then I start to question the nature of my work and future profession. And i think "it's kinda hard to keep faith in the things that you do, when everybody turns their back on you." (Talib Kweli - The Nature)
And then people tell me that I'm thinking too much. Which sounds pretty accurate. And someone told me I'm too busy worrying about others, and that I need to just need to care about myself more. Which kinda sounds true too. I care too much; my Shakespearean tragic flaw.
And the fact is, my flight leaves Thursday, June 12 at 9:20PM from Ontario Airport. And I will then be on a 9hr journey to the booney-ish upstate New York city known as Syracuse. So farewell Life as I know it, I'll see you in a couple months. I will come back a changed man, and I hope that 1) It will be fore the better, and 2) It will be for the better.
Congratulations Peter and Keith. You guys are family, and I could not be prouder. My brothers, close enough to be blood. We'll party it up when I get back.
Az Yet - I Don't Wanna Be Lonely
How many people said "Oh shit. That was the jam.." just right now? eh? eh?
Btw, you should be able to make comments on my blogs anounymously. just leave a name at the end if you'd like :)
So i'm using the lyrics above ^ in a different context. I feel like I'm leaving my life to find myself almost. Here I am, 24hrs before I leave to NY for a few months, and its just hitting me right now. I havent started packing and I'm having a quasi mini panic attack.
I'm leaving for 2 months. The longest I've been away from my family has been 6 days. The longest I've been away with my family is 2 weeks. I'm leaving for 2 MONTHS. (Sidebar, with my ADHD, i just went to dictionary.com to make sure i used "quasi" in the right context and ended up signing up to get a word-of-the-day emailed to me. wow.)
Ok, i'm leaving for 2 months. And theres so much i'm thinking about. I get homesick :/ And, I'm missing some of my best friend's graduations. Peter, Keith, Joanna, Laura. They've worked for and achieved so much, and I cant even celebrate their accomplishments with them.
And I also just feel like theres gonna be so much this summer that I'm gonna miss out on. So many more inside jokes that I won't be involved with. And it kills me to think theres a prospect of drifting further away from my friends.
And I'm nervous about what i'll be doing with my internship. Working in a Multicultural Affairs Department in a school thats 80% Caucasian. Does it really make in an impact? Or is my work just gonna be token multicultural work so that the Institution saves face and wont be labeled as racist. Which then makes me turn on the existential vacuum, and then I start to question the nature of my work and future profession. And i think "it's kinda hard to keep faith in the things that you do, when everybody turns their back on you." (Talib Kweli - The Nature)
And then people tell me that I'm thinking too much. Which sounds pretty accurate. And someone told me I'm too busy worrying about others, and that I need to just need to care about myself more. Which kinda sounds true too. I care too much; my Shakespearean tragic flaw.
And the fact is, my flight leaves Thursday, June 12 at 9:20PM from Ontario Airport. And I will then be on a 9hr journey to the booney-ish upstate New York city known as Syracuse. So farewell Life as I know it, I'll see you in a couple months. I will come back a changed man, and I hope that 1) It will be fore the better, and 2) It will be for the better.
Congratulations Peter and Keith. You guys are family, and I could not be prouder. My brothers, close enough to be blood. We'll party it up when I get back.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
God I'm so inconsistent.
My life has been a little too hectic lately. But it's getting better. I leave for NY next thursday. I have an internship with Syracuse University's Multicultural Affairs Department.
I feel like I'm gonna have a double culture shock. One from just the culture of the East coast and being away from home for so long.
The other culture shock I foresee is just being in a small college town thats 80% caucasian. And seeing as how tuition at Syracuse is roughly $15,000 a semester, everyones pretty much upper class. I just think it'll be hard to relate to people; we essentially come from different worlds.
And I'm gonna miss so much at home. But I'll be doing so much. So contradictory! I truly am a Gemini I guess.
Hopefully i'll be more consistent with this in Boonyville Syracuse :P
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Tell Me Who I Have To Be
To get some reciprocity
See no ones loved you more than me
And no one ever will.
-Lauryn Hill
Granted this song is meant for an intimate love, but I relate to it on a family type love level. I give too much of my soul. I need to just take a break from life. I think im gonna go into detail in a private blog..
See no ones loved you more than me
And no one ever will.
-Lauryn Hill
Granted this song is meant for an intimate love, but I relate to it on a family type love level. I give too much of my soul. I need to just take a break from life. I think im gonna go into detail in a private blog..
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Random Thoughts
I think I'm gonna start a collection of just random thoughts. Cause sometimes I have these one-liners that would be great for poems, but my ADHD kicks in and I want to do something else.
Today my one liner was "I want to say hi to you, but my dignity tells me I shouldn't." Maybe I'm just learning to think and speak like an author? Book coming soon? Sike.
So I was hanging out with Val on Saturday, and we were talking about those critical life topics that not many really sit down and discuss. Like we were talking about friendships, and how people just stop keeping in touch that used to be real good friends, or they just fade away as your good friends.
When I think about the people in my life who fall under this category, the main thought that comes to mind is "how?"
How did we end up like this
How could you just throw our friendship away like that.
Sleepy. I'mma edit this later.
Today my one liner was "I want to say hi to you, but my dignity tells me I shouldn't." Maybe I'm just learning to think and speak like an author? Book coming soon? Sike.
So I was hanging out with Val on Saturday, and we were talking about those critical life topics that not many really sit down and discuss. Like we were talking about friendships, and how people just stop keeping in touch that used to be real good friends, or they just fade away as your good friends.
When I think about the people in my life who fall under this category, the main thought that comes to mind is "how?"
How did we end up like this
How could you just throw our friendship away like that.
Sleepy. I'mma edit this later.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Sooo I haven't slept yet.
Tonight was interesting. Hung out at Plush in Downtown Fullerton with my high school senior prom date and current Mavyn superstar, Valerie Albania (how ya like that intro? :P) That was fun. Val got buzzed, and I've never seen her buzzed before. Then I went to a shindig at a friend's house. And one of my boys that I rolled with got his phone jacked from homegirls purse. At a shindig. RIDICULOUS.
What the hell is wrong with people? How do you go into a lady's purse and jack something from it. I often take for granted the good morals and ethics my parents taught me; it's just hard sometimes to really believe that others aren't brought up with a good head on their shoulders.
Anyway. Something I wanted to highlight is this movie out right now called Planet B-Boy. This movie highlights the element of B-boying from all over the world. It has a big stress on bboying from Korea and Japan too, because within the short amount of time that they've been exposed to the culture, their increase in skill and acknowledgement has been phenomenal. So off the bat, if you know me well, you'll know that two reasons why I love this movie because it combines Hip Hop culture and Asian/Asian American prowress. But on the real, if you love watching bboys, then you should check the movie out. I'll post a clip here, more can be found on youtube
What the hell is wrong with people? How do you go into a lady's purse and jack something from it. I often take for granted the good morals and ethics my parents taught me; it's just hard sometimes to really believe that others aren't brought up with a good head on their shoulders.
Anyway. Something I wanted to highlight is this movie out right now called Planet B-Boy. This movie highlights the element of B-boying from all over the world. It has a big stress on bboying from Korea and Japan too, because within the short amount of time that they've been exposed to the culture, their increase in skill and acknowledgement has been phenomenal. So off the bat, if you know me well, you'll know that two reasons why I love this movie because it combines Hip Hop culture and Asian/Asian American prowress. But on the real, if you love watching bboys, then you should check the movie out. I'll post a clip here, more can be found on youtube
Friday, April 4, 2008
Now you apologize; thats what they all say
You wasn't sorry when you sucked him off in the hallway
But have it your way, raw no foreplay
Madvillain - Fancy Clown
So this post is just a vent. And to give y'all a look a little deeper into my life.
But have it your way, raw no foreplay
Madvillain - Fancy Clown
So this post is just a vent. And to give y'all a look a little deeper into my life.
Yeah, I bought those for you. I also purchased investment into the idea that maybe you weren't who I thought you were. An investment I have since forclosed on. Fuck it. I'm turning this into a poem.
Yo, I thought you was down and a real steal
Straight surpassed the whole fancy clown deal
I was so close to tellin' you how i really feel
I'd still kill to sit you down while i spill out my thoughts
But i'm reduced to typings words in this electric box.
So what are my thoughts?
I had my preconceptions of you in my hindsight
But i took a chance and thought to look at you in a different light.
Cause I get girls thinkin' I get mad play despite
The fact that I end up alone in bed at the end of the night.
So quite contrary to what i might have thought
I gave you a chance to win a spot in my heart
I gave you the flint to start a spark to embark
On this journey of chillin at parks and adventures after dark
And mark my word I ain't talkin' 'bout sex.
I'm talkin' intellectual escapades and strawberry lemonade
I'm talkin' conversing for hours feelin' like i've known you for decades
I'm talkin' My Love is King and you're Sweet as Tabou like Sade
I'm talkin' making life so colorful cause life is boring in 8 shades of grey
I'm talkin' hittin' up the club and straight bustin' the Kid 'n' Play
Now here things are your way
And we're two separate entities goin' our own ways
Graze in patches of life that satisfy separate craves
Spend days in a daze so crazy insane
It amazes me that that's what we're reduced too
Imagine what could have happened if you had given me a mintue or two.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Lets stop the talking
Cause it's feelin' like an interview
I know you're into me so,
Let me get into you
Talib Kweli - In The Mood
I woke up this morning at 11AM and I felt like throwing up. So i went back to sleep. And I didn't drink thaaaaaaat much last night, so i was wondering if it was a hangover. Oh the little mysteries that make up my day.
Todayyyy, I'm eating at the boiling crab with some of the Fullerton cats. I've been kinda living a lifestyle i can't support lately though. I'll go to bars, buy drinks for friends and whatnot, go out to eat, et cetera. And my mom is always like "You don't have to buy things for your friends, cause good friends will care about you regardless." And I know that, but I don't know... Just the nature of my heart, I like buying things for other people. My only problem is I feel like recriprocity is a natural value, but it's not.
I think too often we tend to impose our beliefs on others and expect some kind of exchange, but it's not always the case. When this doesn't happen, we're confused about why we end up being "short changed", if you will. But techincally, you're not being short changed, you're just being more generous than you thought others would be.
Ya digg?
Time to shower. and maybe yak. I kinda feel sick again.. Sooo confusing!!! o_O
I know you're into me so,
Let me get into you
Talib Kweli - In The Mood
I woke up this morning at 11AM and I felt like throwing up. So i went back to sleep. And I didn't drink thaaaaaaat much last night, so i was wondering if it was a hangover. Oh the little mysteries that make up my day.
Todayyyy, I'm eating at the boiling crab with some of the Fullerton cats. I've been kinda living a lifestyle i can't support lately though. I'll go to bars, buy drinks for friends and whatnot, go out to eat, et cetera. And my mom is always like "You don't have to buy things for your friends, cause good friends will care about you regardless." And I know that, but I don't know... Just the nature of my heart, I like buying things for other people. My only problem is I feel like recriprocity is a natural value, but it's not.
I think too often we tend to impose our beliefs on others and expect some kind of exchange, but it's not always the case. When this doesn't happen, we're confused about why we end up being "short changed", if you will. But techincally, you're not being short changed, you're just being more generous than you thought others would be.
Ya digg?
Time to shower. and maybe yak. I kinda feel sick again.. Sooo confusing!!! o_O
Monday, March 31, 2008
Just a quickie
Cause I don't really have much to say. except today was a waste of a spring break day.
But hey, I'm trying to be a decent photographer and i started a Flickr. Check out my pictures if you get the chance. Maybe even comment?
www.flickr.com/photos/8therise
coolskis. Downtown Fullerton tomorrow. time to get cruuuuuuuunk (:
But hey, I'm trying to be a decent photographer and i started a Flickr. Check out my pictures if you get the chance. Maybe even comment?
www.flickr.com/photos/8therise
coolskis. Downtown Fullerton tomorrow. time to get cruuuuuuuunk (:
I need to start using this more...
Listen to: Les Nubians - Tabou
Thinking back. I used to blog almost everyday on any random thing, and looking back on them and reading them is so fun. I need to document my life better. I should have my own reality TV show. What if I busted those 24/7 webcam things? I wonder how many subscribers I would have. Why am I still up...
So I just came back from Vegas a few hours ago. It was overall a great trip. Interesting, but great. It's so good to just be in the presence of good people. I could have been in Kansas with the same crowd and still had a blast. My stomach is sore from laughing so much this weekend.
A lot of my friends clown me cause they say I know a lot of people. Andddd, I totally saw an old friend in Tao nightclub @ the Venetian. I also saw Wayne Brady hahah. I was walking through the staircase down from Tao Beach to the regular club, and he was coming up. I looked at him for a couple seconds and was like "... Wayne Brady?" and he said "W'sup?" and (buzzin') said "Oh shit it's Wayne Brady bitches! Riverside mothafucka!" If you don't know that reference, kindly remove yourself from this website and go youtube "wayne brady on chapelle show" or go rent season 2.
Something I've been thinking about all weekend: As an [aspiring] poet, I love to express myself passionately. I feel like words are a Ferrari; you wouldn't drive a Ferrari 65mph if you had one, and you shouldn't speak plainly if you know how to mainpulate language to be something so much more. I hate that if I write a poem about a girl, she assume's i'm infatuated and in love with her. So I have a hook for a new poem and it's gonna go something like:
"As poets, I think we're often misunderstood"
And just talk about different common aspects of poetry and how they're not to be taken literally. We'll see how that goes.
A cheers to wishful thinking and (hopefully) more frequent blogposts. (:
Thinking back. I used to blog almost everyday on any random thing, and looking back on them and reading them is so fun. I need to document my life better. I should have my own reality TV show. What if I busted those 24/7 webcam things? I wonder how many subscribers I would have. Why am I still up...
So I just came back from Vegas a few hours ago. It was overall a great trip. Interesting, but great. It's so good to just be in the presence of good people. I could have been in Kansas with the same crowd and still had a blast. My stomach is sore from laughing so much this weekend.
A lot of my friends clown me cause they say I know a lot of people. Andddd, I totally saw an old friend in Tao nightclub @ the Venetian. I also saw Wayne Brady hahah. I was walking through the staircase down from Tao Beach to the regular club, and he was coming up. I looked at him for a couple seconds and was like "... Wayne Brady?" and he said "W'sup?" and (buzzin') said "Oh shit it's Wayne Brady bitches! Riverside mothafucka!" If you don't know that reference, kindly remove yourself from this website and go youtube "wayne brady on chapelle show" or go rent season 2.
Something I've been thinking about all weekend: As an [aspiring] poet, I love to express myself passionately. I feel like words are a Ferrari; you wouldn't drive a Ferrari 65mph if you had one, and you shouldn't speak plainly if you know how to mainpulate language to be something so much more. I hate that if I write a poem about a girl, she assume's i'm infatuated and in love with her. So I have a hook for a new poem and it's gonna go something like:
"As poets, I think we're often misunderstood"
And just talk about different common aspects of poetry and how they're not to be taken literally. We'll see how that goes.
A cheers to wishful thinking and (hopefully) more frequent blogposts. (:
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Untitled.
Cause i didn't wanna spend time thinking up a witty title. Even though as a result, "untitled." is kinda witty in itself. Anyway. Been studying for intro to sociology -_- and my brain has reached its permeable capacity. So i started watching Def Poetry Jam vids.
This cat Danny Hoch is SUUPER tight. check him out:
Again, watch the 2nd guy, Danny Hoch. That is all, fans dismissed.
.:Eargasm:. Alicia Keys - Wreckless Love
This cat Danny Hoch is SUUPER tight. check him out:
Again, watch the 2nd guy, Danny Hoch. That is all, fans dismissed.
.:Eargasm:. Alicia Keys - Wreckless Love
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Tip #2 to Improving the Quality of Life
Go to the 99cent store and buy yourself a bubble wand or a bubble gun, and just blow some bubbles; just let the Toys 'R' Us kid in you come out once in a while. Invite friends, it's inexpensive fun anyway.
So reviewing my previous post, and after numerous responses and discussions (not shown on blogger) I have come to realize that I'm really just scared I won't impact anyone's life. Well. I mean, it's always been a fear, but that's where the want to be recognized kicks in. I guess it's my way of using it as a tangible measure of whether or not my work is really effective.
Just because thus far in my para-professional career (as i sit in history110B wearing a 3 piece suit. hah.) I've encountered so many people and situations where I feel like my work is futile. And as this is my blog, this is where I rant about those experiences. Not to say that the aforementioned feelings are a constants representative of how I feel, but just my concerns. Capito?
*8hrs later*
damn. i forgot to post -_-
So reviewing my previous post, and after numerous responses and discussions (not shown on blogger) I have come to realize that I'm really just scared I won't impact anyone's life. Well. I mean, it's always been a fear, but that's where the want to be recognized kicks in. I guess it's my way of using it as a tangible measure of whether or not my work is really effective.
Just because thus far in my para-professional career (as i sit in history110B wearing a 3 piece suit. hah.) I've encountered so many people and situations where I feel like my work is futile. And as this is my blog, this is where I rant about those experiences. Not to say that the aforementioned feelings are a constants representative of how I feel, but just my concerns. Capito?
*8hrs later*
damn. i forgot to post -_-
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Industry Rule #4080
Record company people are shaaaaadyyyyyy.
My weekly ritual of checking out http://postsecret.blogspot.com in sociology, i came across this one:
I have the same fear. People become educators because although their bank accounts may not be rich, their hearts are. But to what degree can we really hope to inspire people? Dedicating my life to inspiring others, only to end in thanklessness? I wonder sometimes.
Listen to: Jill Scott - Not Like Crazy
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Simple things in life we forget
So over the next few months i think i'll be giving suggestions on simple ways to improve the quality of your personal life. Cause I care about you, reader.
So tip#1: Buy yourself flowers at least once a month.
Flowers have great calming and healing properties, and it only cost 10-15$ to get a nice random assortment from your local florist. Enjoy the simplicity nature brings.
Have a good day (:
So tip#1: Buy yourself flowers at least once a month.
Flowers have great calming and healing properties, and it only cost 10-15$ to get a nice random assortment from your local florist. Enjoy the simplicity nature brings.
Have a good day (:
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Self improvement
I want to revisit and study SAT vocabulary, to expand my lyrical venacular. Suggestions? Does anyone read this?
"I mean, in a world without God, aren't mothers the new god?
The last sacred unassailable position. Isn't motherhood the last perfect magical miracle? But a miracle that's impossible for men.
And maybe me say they're glad not to give birth, all the pain and blood, but really thats just so much sour grapes. For sure, men can't do anytning near as incredible. Upper body strength, abstract thoguht, phalluses--any advantages men appear to have are pretty token.
You can't even hammer a nail with a phallus.
Women are already born so far ahead ability-wise. The day men can give birth, that's when we can start talking about equal rights."
Chuck Palahniuk, Choke. pp. 118-119
So ingenious!
"I mean, in a world without God, aren't mothers the new god?
The last sacred unassailable position. Isn't motherhood the last perfect magical miracle? But a miracle that's impossible for men.
And maybe me say they're glad not to give birth, all the pain and blood, but really thats just so much sour grapes. For sure, men can't do anytning near as incredible. Upper body strength, abstract thoguht, phalluses--any advantages men appear to have are pretty token.
You can't even hammer a nail with a phallus.
Women are already born so far ahead ability-wise. The day men can give birth, that's when we can start talking about equal rights."
Chuck Palahniuk, Choke. pp. 118-119
So ingenious!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Random thought #213568904
Why do you never see baby pigeons?
How come we turn away so quickly when our eyes meet the gaze of another, but we can stare at babies for hours on end and not get initimdated?
Why are stereotypes and preconceptions so natural?
Why do friends stop caring?
Ear infections suck
I tell people I want a subscription to Time Magazine. They laugh. I'm serious.
"The future belongs to those who prepare for it today."
-Malcom X
Goodnight.
How come we turn away so quickly when our eyes meet the gaze of another, but we can stare at babies for hours on end and not get initimdated?
Why are stereotypes and preconceptions so natural?
Why do friends stop caring?
Ear infections suck
I tell people I want a subscription to Time Magazine. They laugh. I'm serious.
"The future belongs to those who prepare for it today."
-Malcom X
Goodnight.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Rekindle
Motivation. Inspiration. I need to rekindle it all. I haven't blogged in ages.
So what's new with me:
Dog (Lhasa Apso)
Camera (Nikon D40)
I've also revisited reading for recreation, and to my pleasant surprise our reunion was a joyous one. I've read a couple books by Arthur Nersesian, Mark Acito, and Chuck Palahniuk. I feel like I get too immersed in these fictional worlds though. But i suppose that's just the author doing a good job like they should. Anyone wanna read with me? I like to have alone time, with other people. I'm pretty sure it's the extrover in me, but there's something about being able to act independently in the presence of other people that leaves me fulfilled. Actually, that sounds like the bi-polar Gemini quality in me.
Anyway. I'm about halfway through Palahniuk's Lullaby, and it's insanely good. Another favorite of mine is Nersesian's Chinese Takeout. Read it or I'll kill you. Just kidding. But really, I'll kill you.
Well.. I guess thats all I have for now. Being sick sucks, by the way. And does anyone wanna go to the MOCA with me?
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